| Title: | What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'? |
| Notice: | Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS |
| Moderator: | ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI |
| Created: | Fri May 09 1986 |
| Last Modified: | Wed Jun 26 1996 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 1327 |
| Total number of notes: | 28298 |
F.A.I.R. is a National Father's organization. "Father's Advococy,
Information and Refferal". They are a non-profit organization.
Their basic purpose is to increase quality awareness between fathers
and their children through professional social work services.
I've been a member for about 6 months now and just through reading
their monthly newsletter called "American Fatherhood" my awareness
of the un-fair treatment father's recieve during and after divorse
has made be a believer. The system must change. And only through
a strong national lobbying effort will this occur.
FAIR provides referral services to professionals in your local area
who can help you with your specific problem. Whether it be problems
with the courts, visitation, family, etc.
The majority of FAIR's emphasis is on how father's are discriminated
against and reduced to second class citizens when it comes to custody,
visitation, and child support.
F.A.I.R. does not support delinquency in child support payment.
F.A.I.R. does deal with the facts and how father's who are faithfull
in their financial and emotional support to their families are getting
the short end of the stick.
This is mostly as a result of the extreme feminist lobbying which
has been going on for years and the misrepresentation of the facts
concerning delinquency in support payments, child abuse, and general
consensus that Dad'd don't make good parents, only mother's do.
As a result there is so much biased legislation on the books that
it is rare that men are awarded custody of their children, regardless
of the circumstances, not to mention the finacial awards granted
the custodial mother. In many cases the father is reduced to a
second class status who gets weekends with the kids providing its
ok with mom.
At last and for the first time there is a nation-wide organization out
there that has you, the father, in the forefront and is lobbying
hard for equal rights. Its trying to change the un-just legislation
that has been on the books for too long. F.A.I.R. is our voice
and we can support their efforts by joining this organization.
If you are a parent who has seen the injustice going on between
the system, the lawyers, the bickering between families, and the
hurt children then you owe it to yourself to call F.A.I.R.'s toll
free number. It won't cost you a dime to get their initial literature.
And if you are like me you'll do what I did and join. It has been
the best $50 I ever spent when I think of the Thousands of dollars
I've spent being misrepresented by incompetent attourneys attempting
to battle a judicial system that automatically favors the mother.
FAIR is not on a crusade to screw anyone. They are just to make
things fair. 50/50 is all I asked for 9 years ago. And I got zero
in return. If that tide can be changed for future settlements between
families than I want to help.
FAIR is not just for fathers. After all awareness of the issues
only comes through total awareness by everyone. Mothers, children,
legislators, judges, etc. etc.
Did you know that in Mass. even if both husband and wife agree to
no child support payments because thats the way they want it and
the children live with the wife. The wife must accept $50 per month
child support. And if the wife says to her ex "Don't worry about
it; just don't send the $$$" and the courts find out. The husbands
wages can automatically be garnished? And the husband will be required
to pay all the support in arrears or face a jail sentence? Its
legislation like this that needs to be changed.
Bill "A concerned father who has been faithful to his children
and their support for nine years of divorse and who continually
has his visitation hampered with by his [still bitter after all
these years] ex-wife"
| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 546.1 | FAIR Toll free 800-722-FAIR | CIMNET::LUISI | Thu Jul 21 1988 17:22 | 3 | |
I forgot to include the toll free number.
Its 800-722-FAIR
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| 546.2 | Men wrote the laws | BPOV06::MACKINNON | Fri Jul 22 1988 09:32 | 26 | |
I understand and feel for you "parents" who get the short
end of the stick. I also believe that fathers can raise children
without much difficulty. Yes the laws should be changed. However,
it is not the women of this country who are preventing these laws
from being changed. When the laws were written there was no such
thing as a female lawyer or judge. These laws that clearly
discriminate against men were written by men. These laws that
were written by men are not being changed not because of strong
lobbying by women, but due to a number of reasons. One of those
reasons is that most men just get so frustrated by the endless
dead-ends they run into. But you must hang in there as a united
front. This was how the women obtained the right to vote!
I don't know first hand how hard it is to hang in and fight
for change in this situation. However, as a female engineer, I
know first hand what it feels like to be discriminated against
because of my sex and nothing else. It may seem like the laws
will never change, but there must be a way that men can change
them. Afterall, Men are still the people of authority in the
majority of government areas including the judicial system.
I am sure there are women out there who would back up this fight.
I know I would because I beleive that the welfare of the
children should be first and foremost. Excluding either parent
from a child's life is terribly wrong.
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| 546.3 | Men Wrote Them, Let the PEOPLE change them. | CSC32::D_SMITH | Fri Jul 22 1988 13:13 | 32 | |
Ref > .2 "These laws that clearly discriminate against men were
written by men".
As much as I wish I could say I disagree with you, I can't.
The laws were indeed written by men, narrow minded, uninformed,
unrealistic men. Thank god the point is not who wrote them,
the point is that the laws do not reflect reality, and what
is the best thing for the children involved. I strongly doubt
that this is a Male against Female issue. As you pointed out,
Females have and are still discriminated against base purely on
their gender. In the past several decades alot have progress
has been made in this area, I will grant NOT NEAR ENOUGH.
The issue of fathers rights, if you will, is still a relativly
new issue, and even with that, a lot of progress has been made,
in the last 5 to 10 years. Discrimination is WRONG, in any form,
The only point that I would specificaly make about PARENTS rights,
(I like this better then fathers/mothers rights), is that there
is near always an inocent child(ren) that are paying the price.
I for one, will do as the original author of this note requested,
and call this organization. I would personaly request/suggest that
anyone, male or female, that is intrested in this issue do the
same.
If we will get ourselfs informed, and take an active stance on
issues, notice I said an active stance, stop this sh!+ about
sticking our heads in the sand, maybe some day we can do away
with all forms of discrimination. Sure it's a big dream, but
then so was going to the moon, and curing a desease, but we
have managed to realize alot of those dreams, why not this one.
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| 546.4 | Changes requires awareness | CIMNET::LUISI | Mon Jul 25 1988 10:22 | 31 | |
Yes this is a relatively new societal issue and it is organizations
like F.A.I.R. that are working at making the public and the law
makers aware of the un-fairness of the situation. And it will be
only through the active participation of concerned people who first
achieve an awareness to the situation. And you then participate
in making change that change will come.
It may not come directly in the form of F.A.I.R. helped me personally
in my divorse. But it may come in helping others down the road.
F.A.I.R. takes a rational approach to the issues. Many of the people
who participate also participate in a rational way. By rational
I mean apart from their own personal emotional trauma of divorse.
I for one being divorsed for 9 years am not experiencing today that
trauma. But I am experiencing the result of an un-fair system and
am dealing with an un-cooperative ex-spouse who makes visitation
very difficult.
F.A.I.R. can't help change my ex-spouses behavior. But it can help
change the laws. Every month, in almost every state a key legal
issue that discriminates against father's is written up in a telegram.
If you agree to the content a telegram in your name is sent to your
legislators saying that you disagree with the law and want it changed.
I think when enough people agree, and participate things will change.
I for one believe F.A.I.R. can help.
Bill
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