Conference quark::human_relations-v1

462.0. "Personal Integrity" by ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI () Wed Jan 20 1988 09:37

	Excerpts on Integrity, from "Being the Best" by Denis Waitley...

	"IN THE OPERATING room of a large, well known hospital, a young
nurse was completing her first day of full responsibility. "you've only
removed 11 sponges, Doctor" she said to the surgeon. "We used 12."
"I removed them all" the doctor declared. "we'll close the incision now".
"No", the nurse objected. "We used 12 sponges". "I'll take that 
responsibility" the doctor said grimly. "Suture!" "You cant do that!"
blazed the nurse. "Think of the patient". The surgeon smiled, lifted his foot,
and revealed the 12th sponge. "You'll do fine here" he said.

	A junior high student had survived all the preliminary rounds of a 
national spelling bee, but in the final round, she mispelled a word. The 
judges, however, didnt hear her correctly, and gave her credit for spelling it
right. Realizing she had actually misspelled the word, she eliminated herself
from the competition, on her own accord.

	What do these brief glimpses of life have in common? They both show a
quality that is in short supply, and is getting scarcer. But, without this 
quality, there is no way you can be the best you can be. This rare quality is
Integrity - having a standard of personal morality and ethics that does not 
sell out to expediency and is not relative to the situation.

	Congressional witnesses huddle with their lawyers before facing the
inquisitors. Wall Street power brokers tremble in anticipation of another
"inside trading" indictment. Christian ministries wince as the televangelists'
scandals occupy the national interest. And politicians, even front runners for
the nations highest office, blatently flaunt a dual moral standard while 
campaigning for American renewal.


	What ever happened to basic decency, integrity and an ethical 
conscience that clearly distinguishes right from wrong?


	If there are no moral absolutes, if morality depends on the situation
and circumstance, if people do what "feels good", ultimately they will lose 
their integrity and self respect; eventually this will lead to personal
hopelessness and social chaos.

	When self respect is lacking, people have a long list of "wants"...
They want love without comittment. They want benifits and perks without 
working for them; they want satisfaction without responsibility. They want to 
win the lottery with a one dollar ticket. All they need is *one* winning hand.
They want to feel good right away.

	While popular belief supports the myth that the only thing that counts
is bottom line success, the truth is expediency leads to fleeting stardom and
ultimate defeat. Integrity that strengthens an inner value system is the real
"bottom line" in any arena!

	A recent study of CEO's from many fortune 500 companies indicated that 
the most critical factor to consider in hiring or promoting top managers and
in guaging their potential for ultimate success is *integrity*. Ironically, 
traits that were ranked at the bottom in terms of importance were appearance,
likability and conformity. Interesting, inst it, that the characteristics
many adolescents, the general public, and the mass media emulate and find most
attractive are the least likely to lead to genuine, enduring success.

	For me, the price (people) pay for popularity and success is too heavy.
They have swallowed the myth that says: "SUCCESS AT ANY PRICE; WHAT COUNTS IS
RESULTS - THE SALE, THE BOX OFFICE, THE VICTORY" Like dry rot, this myth 
affects every facet of our society - business big and small, government, 
amatuer athletics, pro sports. Even the church does not escape the win_at_any_
cost mentality. Congregations vie for members and glory in their proselyting.
And have you tested the integrity temperature in your local high school 
lately? (Seems) everyone keeps selling out integrity on the cold hard alter of
expediency! One student said it all when he shrugged: "I dont understand why
people fail when they have the oppurtunity to cheat" (ref 6). It's time to
issue a warning call: "SUCCESS ALWAYS HAS A PRICE; WHAT COUNTS IS INTEGRITY".

	With success at any price as the goal, there is no room for integrity.
Without integrity, there's no place for self respect. Without self respect,
there can be no valid self esteem. The result? Moral and spiritual bankrupcy!
Being the best you can be is a hollow fantasy.

				*	*	*

			How do you measure success?
			To laugh often and much;
			To win the respect of intelligent people
			and the affection of children;
			To earn the appreciation of honest critics
			and endure the betrayal of false friends;
			To appreciate beauty;
			To find the best in others;
			To leave the world a bit better,
			whether by a healthy child, a garden patch,
			a redeemed social condition, or a job well done;
			To know even one life has breathed easier
			because you have lived -
			This is to have succeeded."

				*	*	*

	Wow! Do I ever feel lacking in integrity, especially since I took all
this time (of DEC's) to type this in! I *really* think this Waitley guy has it 
down. Perhaps you do too.

	Joe Jas

    sounds a lot like Ayn Rand. Read 'Atlas Shrugged'. She creates
    a world in which the few people with integrity are holding everything
    together for the rest of the world. One day they decide to stop
    and let the world fall apart. She really drives home the point.

    Thank you very much for re-printing this, Joe.  It's true, and a
    wonderful summation.  I'm going to take a copy home.
    
    Thanks for your thoughtfulness,
    
    Jane

    
    	You're very welcome, Jane. I'm glad you liked it!
    
    	Joe

    Sorry this doesn't add to the discussion...
    
    	Just wanted to also say thanks to Joe. You've been entering
    	some really neat notes; I've enjoyed em all.

    
    Joe,
    
    What a way to start the day!!!  Reading this has raised my spirits
    and I thank you.  
    
    Personal integrity is very important, for how can one be sincerely
    content with one's self without it?  I believe that personal integrity
    can be cast aside when people feel they *have to* conform to business
    pressure, peer pressure, family pressure, etc.  A couple of years
    ago, I worked in a unit and it was hell.  I felt so out of place
    because the majority of the people would do anything to *get ahead*.
    For those of us who didn't follow this philosophy, life was made
    miserable.  In some ways, I had to "bend in the breeze" in order
    to survive, but I never felt I compromised my values.  After leaving
    the group, I felt that I had achieved success....dealing with difficult
    people and still being true to myself.
    
    Anyhow, I would like to say that if some do maintain their personal
    intergrity, perhaps they will be an example for those around them.
    I do believe that most people possess personal integrity....sometimes,
    it just cast aside when people get caught up in social materialism.
    People just need to realize that in the long term, personal integrity
    is the key to happiness and peace with one's self.
    
    Enough said.  Thank you again Joe!  Reading this every morning will
    be an excellent reminder of what really is IMPORTANT!
    
    Kris 
     
     

    
    	Perhaps we can expand this note by including "case histories
    in every walk of life illustrating Integrity in action" for the
    sake of further example. Like the two stories at the beginning of
    .0, but maybe a DEC story, or one of your own, or of someone you
    know.
    
    	Joe
    

There are times when you may be *forced* to let go of your integrity.  It is
important to realize that there is a limit to your control, and to relinquish
control and responsibility for things outside of your control.

To wit, I have kept my integrity by having my children a good deal of the time
since my divorce.  However, shortly, due to circumstances beyond my control, I
will no longer be able to. 

On the other hand, I am working on paying debts since my divorce.  The mother
has simply defaulted on her debts.

Jim. 

RE:  -< some things are beyond our control >-

No offense,  but I still find that trite.  I refuse to believe that there
is anything that I can't change! (:-) I do take it with a grain of salt, though)
There are some things that are not worth the cost of changing, though!

(:- Loosely paraphrased from Note 442.13 :-)

RE: .9

Gotcha! :-)

The difference is in what we *could* *try* to control, and what we have a
right to (should) control.

Jim.

    All we can really control is ourselves, what we choose to do, how
    we choose to react.... but then, thats enough isn't it?

    That's right.  The trick is to stay in integrity with our
    own personal values and ethics/morals in every situation the
    universe hands us.  Not being perfect myself I haven't
    achieved this but I'm workin' on it.
    
    Nanci