Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    I assume the laywer is representing the family???
    If the family wants money, they don't have to go through a lawyer
    to recover from the insurance policy UNLESS they want to recover
    more than what is stated in the policy.
    I assume the lawyer has put together a report stating how much he
    wants to recover for pain and suffering, expenses etc.  (BTW the
    lawyer's fee will probably be ONE THIRD of the settlement, so he
    has alot to gain).
    I would advise you to document the events that took place and forward
    the documentation to the lawyer.  YOU DON'T OWE THE LAWYER ANY KIND
    OF EXPLANATION BUT if the case goes to court (if the insurance company
    doesn't pay the sum he is asking) then you will have to go to court.
    My advice (quite simply) is to summarize the event in writing, provide
    a copy to the lawyer and then tell him ____-off.  You don't need
    his HARASSMENT and thats what it is - you should only have to tell
    the story ONCE.
    Why did the family decide to go with this lawyer?
    
    Please keep us posted on this.
    
    Nancy  
    

    .1 is correct, however I would do it through your own lawyer. I'm
    sure you don't need the expense but I believe it's the best way.
    Make your statement a signed and notarized document sent from your
    lawyer with a letter stating that this is your statement and not
    to bother you any further. He might also want to add that if this
    other lawyer see's fit to bring your into court, you cannot afford
    the expense of the trip, so someone else will have to foot the bill
    for you to go testify.
    
    Steve
    
    
    P.S. I'm a former jumper so believe me I know where your coming
    from. I've never seen anyone burn in though, thank God.

    Question: What do you call 6 lawyers buried up to their necks in
    sand?  
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Answer: Not enough sand.
    
    
    Sorry for the tangent but is says everything about how I feel about
    that type of person. The major problem is the could care less about
    you or your feelings and probably not even the family he represents
    only the mighty dollar. I have been through the lawyer harrasment
    before and they are damn hard to get rid of. I strongly suggest
    finding help from someone that can tell you how involved you have
    to be in the case. Maybe seek pain and suffering for the anguish
    you have been subjected to. Now wouldent that be a nice twist to
    throw them? 
    
    I think the law suit scene is a real sign of the sickness in society.
    
    I hope this can be resolved quickly for you, jerry
    
    

    This guy probably chases ambulances, too.
    
    If you are subpoenaed, you have no choice but to appear in court.
    But, if you feel that the lawyer is harrassing you, you could file
    a complaint with the phone company and/or Post Office to that
    effect. you could also tell the lawyer that if he doesn't stop
    bothering you, he can count on you to be a very hostile witness.
    
    --- jerry

    
    Thanks to all, so far, who have replied here and by mail. Zee-gads,
    but it's nice to know that I don't have to keep it all inside.
    
    And yet, being the quintessential Gemini, I've found myself looking
    at this whole situation from a number of angles, causing me to 
    wonder about my own ambivalence.  And something occurred to me;
    
    True, if the lawyer were to continue to harrass me in this manner,
    I would take my own legal recourse against it.  (BTW, thanks! 
    Being new to the wonderful world of lawyers, I didn't even realize
    that that was an option!)  But...
    
    Let's cut this particular lawyer out of the picture for a moment.
    To be sure, Jon's family is having a difficult time coming to 
    resolution about the incident, and to that end I have tried my best
    to provide *all* of the details that they've requested... over and
    over and over...  Somehow, piecing the events of the day together
    has somehow helped them deal with the situation, and to understand
    just how something like this could have happened.  But, as I've
    said, it always leaves me feeling like I've come out overdrawn.
    
    So this leaves me to wonder, Should I, being basically the helpful
    sort, provide the information that they seem to need so badly, or
    in an effort to protect my own interests, shut down on their
    requests?  It doesn't really seem, somehow, like fair treatment
    for them, as I was really the only one who can provide those details.
    
    And suppose that, by pursuing the legal angle further, some real
    good can come of the incident, as in reforms in the sport, ensuring
    that this will never happen again?  By refusing to tell my story,
    I may be hampering such a change, which, of course, is goodness.
    
    The way I figure it, if I don't do my part to make something of
    this, then perhaps Jon's demise would be in vain.  If I *do* do
    as much as I can, however, we might be able to do some lasting
    good.  And nothing could make me happier...
    
    And yet, it always seems to rip me apart.
    
    ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

    
    Sounds to me like you really want to say the many things that you
    have to say.  Everytime you jumped out of that plane, you took a
    chance and gambled with fate.   That doesn't have to change.
    
    Jon's family probably needs to hear the facts again and again to
    help it really sink in, and *you* need to let the pain out of your
    soul.  Time won't heal you completely, but it will make things easier
    to bear.  By holding it in, you accomplish very little.
    
    It's hard to know what's right, but the bottom line is - you must
    do what feels best for *you*.
    
    Hold your head high.
    
    Carol - friend and fellow free-faller
    

        I get the feeling that it is the "provid(ing) *all* of the
    details ... over, and over, and over" that has you the most
    distressed.  If that is the case I suggest that you get your story
    down on paper and fill in extra details as they are requested. 
    If you do this through a lawyer (although it may be expensive, but
    is your mental health worth the expense?) he could field questions
    and contact you only when there were details missing from your account
    of the incident.
    
    ASP  -  I jumped once and only didn't follow up because of $$

    
    	Looking at this from the viewpoint of the family, I can see
    how they feel and understand their wanting answers to their 
    questions.  I was in a similar situation several years ago when
    my brother had an accident and was killed.  (He was not jumping
    but flying a helicopter).  He was alone, so there was no one to
    answer our questions about "What happened?  What went wrong?" 
    except for the airport that he had been in touch with shortly 
    before he crashed.  At that time, and even now as I look back 
    on it, there are answers that we'd like to have that no one can
    give us.  
    
    	I also understand how hard it must be for you to tell the story
    and answer their questions but I feel you should try as best you
    can ... having been in that situation, every little piece of data
    that we could come up with helped us to deal with the accident.
    It helped us to feel that it was something that couldn't have been
    avoided (altho it probably could have if my brother  had sat the
    chopper down as soon as he noticed engine trouble) but he didn't.
    
    	Tony's suggestion of getting it down on paper is probably just
    as good.  Just so the answers are there, to the best of your ability!
    
    
    		My

RE: .7

Yes, there is a point where the repitition of the incident can only drive
you deeper.  You have to pull out sometime.

Jim.

    Hi,
    
    This probably isn't too constructive to the discussion, but it relates
    to this issue of making the sport safer.  I used to jump in college,
    and my first exit, was the same as Jon's, except by some miracle,
    I didn't get tangled in the lines and completed the somersault without
    tangling my chute.  This scared EVERYONE!  Especially the jump master.
    He has since changed the way beginners exit from the plane.  When
    I learned to jump, you stood on a step, and jumped off.  This makes
    it somewhat easy to not do the jump correctly, and end up doing
    a back somersault.  I recently visited my old jump master, and see
    that he has changed the exit procedure.  Now beginners hang on a
    bar that he added under the wing of the plane.  That way the person
    is already basically in the right spread eagle position, and all
    they have to do is let go with their hands.  He says this is working
    quite well.  Too late for Jon, but maybe more jump schools will
    start using this procedure.  
    
    - Molly -

    Re .0 contact the bar Association in this lawyers' state and complain.

    re: .0
    
    As much as I hate to say it, I think you should  contact a lawyer,
    and relate your frustration to him, about the antics of the one
    whose been calling you.
    
    Personally, I think if someone calls me up and states that if I
    don't want to alk to them willingly, then they are 'coercing me';
    by using a 'threat' of court action.
    
    Second, I don't beleive a  lawyer can 'force' you to testify in
    Philly, if you live in NH (if you live in PA it might be a different
    case).
    
    Third, perhaps you should (could ?) talk to the Pilot and the Field
    involved, and volunteer to talk to THEIR attorneys about whats
    happenining to you.
    
    Fourth, you may have a CASE against this attorney, based on what
    you relate here. 
    
    Fifth- STOP TALKING to any of those people, because something YOU
    say may unwittingly cause you to become the target of the suit,
    since you were 'involved with' your friend getting involved in sky
    diving sport.
    
    Last - Contact the Bar Association of whatever state you live in,
    and request a 'refferral'. Oftentimes lawyers will talk to you
    for about an hour for about $10.0 -$20.00.
    
    In some states (Mass, NY, NJ, Pa and others) there is a 'Consumer
    Advocate' who sites in the attorney generals office who can also
    refer you to an 'appropriate ombudsman' - someone who can talk to
    you, understands tha limits of the law, and  further advises you
    on the BEST course for yourself.
    
    I can understand the feeling of helplessness as being nearbye and
    being totally unable to help. There's no point in these crumbs making
    a living from it.
  
    In Boston Mass there's a radio station called: WBZ, and they have
    a 'Call for ACtion' Help line that ANYONE can call if they have
     problem and the answer is not clear. No charge for their help.
    
    Bob Early
    

    I agree: Talk to a Lawyer.  Unfortunately I too am involved in a
    lawsuit.  Once I started getting hounded I got a lawyer and all
    correspondence goes thru him and only him.  Ive never been harassed
    or called by the other law firm ever again.  If any questions need
    to be asked or any facts verified it is discussed between me and
    my lawyer and he in turn contacts the others with the info.  It
    not only protects you but helps you to keep your sanity.  
    
    Your situation is tragic and I understand your not wanting to "re-live"
    it all in a courtroom.  Understand that the procedure for law suits
    is also time consuming - you won't see a courtroom for years.  I
    know that the pain of losing a friend does not disappear but maybe
    with the passage of time you'll be able to deal with your memories
    a bit better.  The case that I am involved in is no where near as
    tragic or difficult as what you've described.  Its been 2 years
    now and I probably won't see a court room for another year.  
    
    I wish you the best and am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend.
    Let someone handle this for you and take some time to heal as much
    as you possibly can.
    
    Best Wishes
    Maureen
    

    
    Regarding .13
    
    Thank you, Maureen... That was really sweet.
    
    Bob