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| Title: | What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'? |
| Notice: | Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS |
| Moderator: | ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI |
|
| Created: | Fri May 09 1986 |
| Last Modified: | Wed Jun 26 1996 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 1327 |
| Total number of notes: | 28298 |
425.0. "Annulments" by REGENT::MOZER () Wed Nov 04 1987 22:40
A "SEARCH" of this conference only showed up 2 REPLYs that said
anything about Annulments. So, since I need some information on
them, I decided to start a new NOTE.
I very recently found out that my "X" has applied for an Annulment
of what was our 15 yr. marriage. I have obtained the "official" pamphlet
that the Tribunal publishes, which explains their rationale in granting
Annulments to obviously consummated marriages, which, simply stated
is that the marriage wasn't valid (for some reason) from the beginning,
rather than a good marriage "gone bad". I do not know what to expect
from here on and it has me very concerned. I am not opposed to
the Annulment (I want to be TOTALLY "free" of her), so that is not
an issue with me (nor are her plans to re-marry).
What I would like from other readers of this conference who have
been through the process, is help in knowing what to expect from
here on. The type of information I would like is what was the
experience like, how long did it take, was it painful (as I think
it might be since it deals with "digging up" the past (your courtship,
etc.)). Did you or your "X" initiate the procedure, how did you
feel about it then (and now), what type of questions did you need
to answer? If you were the one in my situation (the one who DIDN'T
file), did you have to do anything, and if so, what? Was the Annulment
granted? If you were a "Witness" to an Annulment, what type of
statement or questions did you have to answer? Any and all information
would be helpful to me at this point (I haven't "officially" been
contacted by the Tribunal as yet.
If you have any experience with Annulments, please either REPLY
to this NOTE, or if you do not feel comfortable doing that, please
send me MAIL at the above NODE address. I am also interested if
children were involved in the Annulment and how it affected them
(I have 2 teenage sons, 14 and 17), so I can help them deal with
it as best I can.
Any and all information you can share with me will be greatly
apprecited!!
Joe
| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 425.1 | | FDCV10::IWANOWICZ | Deacons are Permanent | Thu Nov 05 1987 12:57 | 24 |
| Joe,
First, I suggest you clarify for yourself an understanding of the
annulment concept from the church's point of view. Given that you
appreciate what is behind an annulemnt, then you will more likely
appreciate more adequately the experiences of others who may have
gone through the process. Also, the concerns you and your children
may have about the conclusion of an annulment proceeding are
significant.
As a deacon in the catholic church I might be able to share with
you the philosophy and/or theology underlying annulments. In
also doing marriage preparation with engagged couples, I do
spend time going over the church's point of view on readiness and
ability to make the Sacrament real - which is fundamnetally what
the annulment investigation attempts to unravel , i.e. did the
couple at the time of the marriage publicly and freely make
a covenant. The answer lies in a couple's maturity [ psychologically
and spiritually ] and capacity to love.
Le`t me know how I can help ....
Mike
|
| 425.2 | | CHUCKL::SSMITH | | Mon Nov 09 1987 13:18 | 6 |
| Hi. If you still need info on annulments, send me mail. I just
completed the whole process about a month and a half ago.
Steve
SHARE::SSMITH
|
| 425.3 | I've been there | TROLL::GRANQUIST | | Wed Nov 11 1987 12:11 | 19 |
| Hi, I went through the process about a year ago, and did not have
any difficulties. I was the one who initiated it, and was told that
my X's opinions were not needed if she refused to participate. the
info that they request is pretty indepth so you may get some twinges
if you decide to participate. Just because a marriage seems to have
gone well at first and then developed problems dosen't mean that
the problems can't be traced back to pre-marriage. I think the big
thing that concerned me was what it would mean to the status of
my children (6). I.E. Is it denighing their existance in the eyes
of the church. can they still recieve the sacriments????
Well I've found out that an annulment means that in the eyes of
the church the marriage should not have taken place, not that it
did not exist. It will not effect the children as far as the church
is concerned. The only thing that could have an impact if it is
granted is that the can rule that one or both of you can not remarrry
for a period of time if it is believed that you are still not ready.
at least within the church. If you really want to be free to remarry
within the church, than it is in your intrests to participate.
BTW My marriage lasted 22yrs. and I still got my annulment.
|
| 425.4 | Thanks for the replies!! | REGENT::MOZER | | Wed Nov 11 1987 17:07 | 11 |
|
RE: .1 to .3 + MAIL
Thank you to those of you who have replied to my base NOTE either
here or via MAIL. Thank you for sharing what you have with me.
I'm sorry I haven't REPLIED to you before this, but coming back
to work from 3 months of disability has been a full time effort
for me right now. I will send you all MAIL as soon as I can,
especially since I still have some questions. Thank you again!!
Joe
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