Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    Well around here there are several "lookout points" where the sub
    races are very popular.
    On getting caught...
    This happened to me at my then girl friends house. Her parents
    walked in backed out and said thru the closed door that when we
    were done, they wanted to talk to us. The conversation was in effect
    do you know what you are doing and are you being careful to avoid
    the unplesant side effects.
    Now I'm a few years older(no kids) I wonder how I would handle the
    same situation had that been my daughter. I do know I would rather
    the event took place somewhere other than a roadside park.
    
    
    -j
    

    
    When Jerry mentioned "lookout points" he should have stressed the
    good ol' Rockies in Colo. Spgs. back yard with miles and miles of
    of unpaved roads leading to the ultimate seclusion.  Heck, you
    don't even have to stay in the cramped proverbial backseat.  Get
    out there and get some tree bark abrasions! :^)
    
    Sherm_who_knows_pine_needles_can_hurt
    

    I am told that the favored location of eastern teenagers, who don't
    have unlimited access to the wonders of pine needles, is in the bedroom
    of the house in which they are babysitting, but I suspect this might be
    more mythical than actual.  
    
    The outdoors is quite popular when they can find a spot where adults
    don't come -- strips of accessible riverfront, for example.  I gather
    that the desperate ones are willing to, er, proceed in fairly close
    proximity to another couple similarly involved.
    
    --bonnie

    
    Where they go:
    
    Ya got me.  In Worcester, you're likely to find them at it on public
    park benches, or up on those destered stretches around the airport.
                                                          
    Used to go to the base of the Mount Hope Bridge, myself, or the
    old stable in Lincoln Woods State Park.
                                               
    Amusing variation:
    
    My senior year in college, one of my roommates, who had the top
    bunk of the bunk bed, had a steady girlfriend.
    
    One spring evening, I came home and found the lights out and the
    apartment unusually warm.  I didn't take any real notice.
    
    I didn't bother to put lights on.  I sat on my bed, picked up the
    phone, called my Mom.
    
    After calling, I headed for the bathroom.  On the way, I tripped on
    something elastic.  I hit the bathroom lights and saw that I had been
    snared by an unoccupied brassiere.  A glance at the upper bunk
    indicated a silhouette of more than one person. 
    
    I shut off the light, and went to visit some friends.  Ah, young
    love.
    
    DFW
    

    re:
    I used to go to the movies as a "teenager". Lovely place, those
    driveins. Used to wonder about those cars that had ALL the windows
    completely "Steamed up", and rocking like crazy. :^)
    
    Use to be a rumour that the [ driveins ] wouldn't allow Nashes in
    (because of the reclining seats).
    
    Favorite spots around mid-north-eastern Mass was a place called
    "Spot Pond" or "Wrights Pond". Used to be called "watching the
    submarine races", and jokes about the "Old Log Inn" or "Father Peter"
    were rampant in those days.
    
    Also rampant was the "appendicitis" problems where some girls had
    to go live with an Aunt in obscure "Northern New Hampshire"
    or "up in Vermont". Of course, in those days, "nice girls didn't",
    and if someone got pregnant they were "expected" to get married.
    
    "Secret Marriages" were also common: "Oh, Susan is pregnant ?".
    
    "Well, Susan and John eloped in secret last September, and just
    told us about it now .." ("Now that she's pregnant").
    
    I had, what seemd like some dort of "evidence" that Babysitters
    used bedrooms of the houses they sat in (I suppose today as then);
    "We" used to come home, and on occasion we'd see "spots" or 
    the cap would be loose on the "spermicidal foam". (1967)
    
    .bob. "Ahhh memory lane ... glad its changed .. I'll take the future
    .. cause tha past sucks".
    

    Well,.... when I got caught, my parents were doubley mad, and so
    was my brother.
    
    I was 14, much too young according to my parents.  It was in my
    own bedroom, but with my brother's girlfriend.  It wasn't supposed
    to have even happened, but that's another story.  My brother's
    girlfriend was 4 years older, and ...experienced.  She dumped
    by brother for me after that, and we dated for another 8 months.
    Then she dumped me and married a guy 8 years older than herself!
    
    My parents were "extremely disappointed in my behaviour", but decided
    I was too young to be thrown out of the house.  My brother ?  He
    beat me up a couple times, but he got over it.
    
    Note, we only did it in my parent's house that first time, the rest
    of the time was in her car.
    
    I hear that there are a few secluded spots where the kids can go
    parking around where I live, but they are frequented by the police
    with spot lights.  The police just stop to make sure that both
    of the kids have consented to each other, and that no-one is being
    taken advantage of against their will.  I think that's good, but
    I guess it would be embarassing if you got caught with your pants
    down.
    
    						- Darrell - :-)
    

    Left work early one day (sick) and found my son's girlfriend's car
    and a *very* quiet house.  I went to the store, ... waited until
    he and I were alone, and had a serious talk about birth control,
    social responsibility and love.  Seems to have worked out ok.
    	(of course, ... I do tend to call before I leave work early):-)..
    ... just kidding.

    Let's see, the dunes at Fitchburg Airport to watch the Midnight
    Mail plane, various spots around Townsend Harbor to watch the 
    Brick Steamers 8-). I once spent some time up by the WEIM radio
    towers and found the Detectives car parked at the side of the
    road on my way out. Asked some friends and was told that there
    had been some 'prowlers' reported up that way and the cops were
    looking for them. Nothing like being the cheese in the mouse trap.
    Never did tell my date about that 8-).
    
    Seriously, 'parking' can be very dangerous. Trouble is, most guys
    from 16-21 figure that they can handle any trouble that comes along
    (in the form of unwanted interuptions). My first wife's parents
    didn't want any 'parking' unless it was in the driveway or on the
    couch in the den. Guess they thought that we only watched the movie
    at the drive-in. I've heard of a number of 'supervised' parking
    areas. You follow the signs to the 'duck feeding & parking area'
    and you leave your parking lights on. The cruiser drives by on
    its rounds, but enters the parking area only if your lights are
    off indicating trouble. Makes things a lot less stressful!
    
    Bob Mc
    

    Hey!!
    	I remember those spots!
    Another_Fitchburger

    Phew, I checked and I can't remember ever dating a Mary ;-).
    

Weim towers, are you sure the other car was up there cheking for 
prowlers???? Cogsal (sp) in Fitchburg and Keatings sandpits seem
familar names to me. Of course, my parents did have some land
out on Lake Shirley, only accessable by way of some dirt roads.

bill

    >>Phew, I checked and I can't remember ever dating a Mary ;-)
    
    Believe me  ..... you would have remembered!
    
    	(... some events are so treasured and unique that.... well,
    you understand I'm sure_:-)  

    Re my base note in .0:
    
    I've been following the responses given to date, and I've noticed
    that most have fallen into the category of where kids today go,
    or where the noters themselves went when they were younger.
    
    I'd like to focus more on the question I posed in the last
    paragraph in my base note, namely what would *your* reactions
    be around the issues of your own kids' sexuality?
    
    Also is this a gender-neutral question? Would your attitudes be
    dependent upon whether your teenager is female or male? (For 
    the topic at hand, let's not get into the AIDS nor pregnancy 
    issues for now).
    
        Alan
     
    
     

    
    I think that I would be concerned that 
    	1.  they were using some type of birth control...
    	preferably condoms as well, with the STD's that 
    	are going around....
    	2.  that they were mature enough to handle the 
    	emotional aspects as well as the physical...and
    	would discuss this side of it as well as birth
    	control/STD's with my daughter. 
    
    I have thought about this part of your original note since
    the note was first entered and don't really know what my
    reaction would be.  But the above are 2 things that I would
    be concerned about.  
    
    My gynecologist recently started my daughter on birth control
    pills and we talked about this not meaning that she's necessarily 
    ready for a sexual relationship and she agrees that she's not ready
    emotionally for such a relationship.  The fact that she's now on
    the pill bothers me to a point because I think that she may get
    sexually active before she's really ready since she has protection.
    
    It was interesting to me that as we talked about her taking the
    pill I found that she didn't know as much about birth control/sex,
    etc. as I had thought she did.  So some more communication was 
    necessary between us.  
    
    	

    re: .14 and not getting into the AIDS or pregnancy issues for now...
    
    These issues are *very much* a part of any discussion/consideration
    of sexuality...  I find it impossible to keep them separate, unless
    we want to play "let's pretend" (and I only wish that wishing those
    issues away would make them disappear)!
    
    	Penelope
    

    re .15
    
    Since your daughter seems to feel that she may not be emotionally
    ready to be sexually active, why did you start her on the pill?
    I don't understand the reasoning (not that I think just having birth
    control, or knowing about it, will encourage sexual activity). 
    But introducing hormones into the human body without a real necessity
    seems like overkill to me.  
    
    If you/your daughter were concerned with the "getting carried away"
    syndrome, I believe a better solution is for her to have something
    like the sponge available with her.  Then if she gets into a sexual
    situation she can easily deal with the birth control without being
    prepared for something that may not happen, at the risk of side
    effects.
    
    G

    
    She was started on birth control pills due to heavy, irregular
    and painful periods.  (Not in anticipation of having sex with 
    someone....)
    
    

    re: .17 et al
    
    Hmm just to let you know one persons experience: Being on "Birth
    Control" pills does not even provide a Warranty of not having children.
    
    They merely REDUCE the odds getting pregnant. My 1st ex had pills
    which tended to cause hemorhaging, so the good doctor presceribed
    another type, which we later called "Steven".
    
    Another person had a pill prescribed which was said to be "97%
    effective".
    
    97% means that out of every 100 times, you get pregnant 3 times,
    or roughly 1 in every 33 times. 
    
    I would "hope" that if someone wanted to 100.00% prevent pregnancy,
    they would have to 100.00% prevent intercourse or games in those
    areas (including "Hot tubs", according to some reports).
    
    .bob.
    

    Re: .19
    
    Bob, I think your interpretation of the effectiveness rates is
    not quite right.  According to the way these things are rated,
    an effectiveness of 97% means that if 100 women use the method
    properly for a year, 3 will become pregnant.  That's clearly
    a lot more effective than simply saying "1 in every 33 times [you
    have intercourse?]"  Of course one must also realize that the
    "rate" of no control whatsoever is not 0% but something like 20-30%.
    
    There is also no evidence that one can get pregnant from hot tubs
    or swimming pools.
    
    But your basic point is well-taken, that contraception is not
    a guarantee, simply a probability reducer.  But I would hate for
    women (or men) to get the notion that "since it doesn't work anyway,
    I won't bother with contraception at all".  Sadly, some DO feel
    this way.
    					Steve

    Hmmmm... As I recall, I had a very active social life and don't
    ever remember doing much "fooling around" in cars.
    
    It must have been parties, empty houses, etc.
    
    It seems to me that kids have a lot more pocket money today than
    20 years ago... maybe motels?
    
    jacki