Conference quark::human_relations-v1

     I will fight to the death for my right to ignore whomever
    I wish.

    Excellent question, this. Nearly all of the early disagreements
    my husband and I had were about this issue; that is, he comes from
    a family that expects a great deal of feedback, and I come from
    one that tends to let people be alone.
    
    What it comes down to is, does the "right to be recognized" outweigh
    the "right to privacy" or not? I'm definitely in the "right to privacy"
    camp; I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I also don't want
    to be (for example) chattered to on an airplane when I'm reading.
    
    I don't really believe either of these are true "rights", though.
    "Pursuit of happiness" covers both of them; it's just that some
    people's idea of happiness conflicts with other peoples'.
    
    Since I think this is an etiquette issue rather than a human-rights
    one, let me paraphrase from the Gospel according to Miss Manners.
    Her theory is that, in general, a social impulse "beats" a non-social
    one on the human scale of goodness; therefore, if someone greets
    you politely, you are obliged to set down your book and return the
    greeting. However, she does uphold the reader's right to resume
    reading after having acknowledged the other person's existence!
    
    -b

    I think it's a necessity - Jim does not.  I like to be greeted
    or to greet when I come into the house.  He's perfectly happy to
    walk by me into his study, or to stay in his study reading.  So
    I come in and hug the cats.  Not nearly as good, but it's something.
    
    I don't recall anything from my Psych/animal behavior classes on
    this, but it seems like a pair/tribe bonding reinforcement thing.
    Anyone know more about it?
    
    --Louise

I am considered by some to be a socialiable person...  When I see someone I
know, I want to say Hello, or if they see me, I would like them to say hello... 

But, I have to reserve the right to ignore people/things...  I have been close
to a number of people who chose to very repetitive and nagging, and would not
take no for an answer.  Once I've heard all they have to say, and I've told them
what I think, I stop listening.  If they continue berating me, I leave.

This sort of thing goes way back to my parents...  deep down, I have the feeling
that I am not communicating to them that I have heard them the first time...  It
is true that I don't hear them after the nth time... 

Sometimes I'm not prepared to deal with a topic at a particular point in time. I
reserve the right to postpone it untill later...

Jim. 

    
    	But is it our right to "leave the effect or impression of ourselves
    on another person or thing". This has got to be one of the most common 
    things that people do. Some use music, some spraypaint, some their
    position and place, some their good looks, some use notesfiles,
    some use their cars, etc ad infinitum.
    
    	Does 'Reagan have the right to say "gee, I'm gonna lose my power
    soon, I may even die soon, and I always wanted to blow the Sh*t
    outta the Rooskies, so, lets go sail over and..."
    
    	Does MAHLER have the right to post "Bye all, you moderators
    &^(%$#!!"
    
    	Does The Beasty Boys have the right to put out a song about
    not going to school and instead "partying" (now there's impact)
    
    	Does car A have the right to say to car B "*I'm* here -get outta
    my way! Oh Yeah - Zoooooooooom - Screeeeech! There!"
    
    
    	"stir it up"
    
    
    	Joe Jas

gee, and i thought it was my right to NOT BE IMPACTED by other people if
i didn't feel like it...

maybe this is why laws are so fuzzy (sounds like a good topic in itself),
and why there are different social tolerances for PRIVATE vs. PUBLIC behaviors

          Some people are talking about their right to PRIVACY.  Well
    that's fine, but I think that being the species that we are, and
    knowing that every human being who has lived for more than a second
    on the this planet has tried (at least once) to make an impact on
    another human being, means that we have to at least RESPECT an 
    individual's right to make an IMPACT on us.  After that, we can
    choose to ignore it, or we can react accordingly.  From an idealistic
    point of view, you are being a hypocrite (sp?) if you total ignore
    another human being's request for impact;  but of course we all
    have done this.
    
    John

    Keep track of your actions for one hour - any time and any place
    - and then look back and see how many times you actually impact
    others - conciously or unconciously.

    The right to impact others? Interesting concept. It caught
    my eye in another note also. Glad you brought this up for
    discussion.
    
    I find it somewhat pleasant (reassuring, maybe?) to contemplate
    that I might have a *right* to affect someone else. I think it almost
    assures one of "being needed". The opposite (not being needed)
    produces insecurity. There may be some people who *think*
    they don't care if they're needed, but down deep inside they'll
    find it's not so. Being needed feeds the ego and reinforces our
    self image.
    
    No, I don't think I have any such rights. I would instead say
    that I consider it a privilege. In other words, I have a right
    to impact you only so long as you grant me that right. And then
    we both benefit, because we have both impacted each other (i.e.
    there is no giver without a receiver.)
    
    And thanks for letting me impact you in notes. :-}
                                        
    Irena
    
    
    
    Considering the social beings that most of us are (except for
    a hermit here and there) we're in no danger of running out of
    people who will allow (tolerate) our impact on them as long
    as we don't abuse the privilege.
    
                                      
    
    
    

    So-called "right to impact" belongs only to Dirty Harry! You and
    I, mister and missus ordinary citizen, have only the RIGHT TO TRY
    to influence/impact others through communications/notefiles. This
    is the RIGHT TO FREE SPEACH. 
    
    Proper Exercise of this right includes using logic, debate, the
    law, editorials, et cetera, et cetera.  What is YOUR favorite media
    or technique for communicating philosophy, values, goals, etc.?
    
    	Rick
    	Merrill