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Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Title:	What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'?
Notice:	Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
Moderator:	ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI

Created:	Fri May 09 1986
Last Modified:	Wed Jun 26 1996
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	1327
Total number of notes:	28298

253.0. "Words on marriage" by MMO01::RESENDE (Taking the plunge - again!) Wed Mar 25 1987 01:31

    As stated in a previous reply, I'm taking on the marital status of
    "married" tomorrow.  
    
    During our sacrament, my spouse and I will be exchanging words ( :-) )
    with each other.  While I'm not sure exactly what her's will be, I'd
    like to share what I plan to say with you because I find it to be truly
    "neat".  Also, earlier in H_R, some fellow noters shared their custom
    vows, and I'd like to return the favor.
    
    I came across it while delving into some of the lessor works of Kahlil
    Gibran (he DID write a lot more than "The Prophet" you know).  It is
    the 3rd of three short prose articles, the first two being "On the
    first glance" and "On the first kiss".  I'm using the 3rd, entitled "On
    marriage".{
    
    Hope you enjoy it. 

                                 ON MARRIAGE

    Here Love begins to render the prose of Life into hymns and canticles
    of praise, with music that is set by night, to be sung in the day. 

    Here Love's longing draws back the veil, and illumines the recesses of
    the heart, creating a happiness that no other happiness can surpass but
    that of the Soul when she embraces God. 

    Marriage is the union of two divinities that a third might be born on
    earth. 

    It is the union of two souls in a strong love for the abolishment of
    separateness. 

    It is that higher unity which fuses the separate unities within the two
    spirits. 

    It is the golden ring in a chain whose beginning is a glance, and whose
    ending is Eternity. 

    It is the pure rain that falls from an unblemished shy to bear fruit
    and bless the fields of divine Nature. 

    As the first glance from the eyes of the beloved is like a seed sown in
    the human heart, and the first kiss of her lips like a flower upon the
    branch of the Tree of Life, so the union of two lovers in marriage is
    like the first fruit of the first flower of that seed.

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
253.1		SPIDER::PARE		`Wed Mar 25 1987 09:26`	1
	Congratulations!! How wonderful for you. I wish you much happiness.
253.2		CSC32::WOLBACH		`Wed Mar 25 1987 14:06`	2
	That WAS beautiful! What book is that from? And CONGRATULATIONS to both of you!!!
253.3		MSDSWS::RESENDE	Steve Resende @MMO, 356-6774	`Thu Apr 16 1987 17:35`	7
	If was from "The Collected Writings of Kahlil Gibran", which does NOT contain "The Prophet" or most of the essays which are widely available in Alfred Knopf Publishing offerings. Was a lucky find, and provides an interesting view of Gibran which his more popular writings don't. And THANKS - wedding was wonderful!
253.4	The honeymoon is never over!	CURIE::MARCOMTAG		`Wed Dec 28 1988 11:53`	2
	Congratulations, your vows are beautiful. I just got married on October 9, 1988..and it was the best day of my life!!
253.5	MAKING THAT VOW	ACE::MOORE		`Wed Jun 21 1989 10:10`	23
	COVENANT MARRIAGE I had a friend of mine who was in the process of geeting married at one time. She had all the arrangements set and preparartions for the wedding plans just about finished, until several weeks before the wedding date, the groom decided to call it off. Boy, she was truly upset, especially with all the plans that has taken place. You know it got me to thinking, that how can a woman trust a man if she cant trust his word? I heard that "Trust is extended to the limit of a man's word and no more. We can say that trust makes vulnerability possible. Lack of trust makes it impossible. Our wedding vows is so important it is not a sexual agreement that remain unbroken, with the exception of adultery of course. Those vows are a holy commitment before God in which the man takes the responsiblity of his manhood in his reltion to his wife. God views the vows that was made and is the evidence of the man to desire to love his wife just as Christ loves the Church. When he breaks the law of love, he has broken his vows and has weakened his covenant with his wife. Ray
253.6	what? committed before the commitment?!	EMPIRE::BARANSKI	Looking for the green flash	`Wed Jun 21 1989 10:47`	10
	"I had a friend of mine who was in the process of getting married at one time. She had all the arrangements set and preparations for the wedding plans just about finished, until several weeks before the wedding date, the groom decided to call it off. Boy, she was truly upset, especially with all the plans that has taken place." Tough Luck. I guarantee they are better of not being married. You are supposed to have a chance to change your mind. Jim.
253.7		CSSEDB::M_DAVIS	nested disclaimers	`Wed Jun 21 1989 10:56`	7
	agreed, Jim. I think one of the practical aspects of engagement is that the couple has time to examine their decision... to concentrate on their future life together rather than the pursuit game... sadly, not all engagements are meant to end in marriage. present company excepted, Marge
253.8	vows with reservations are pretty useless too	SELL3::JOHNSTON	weaving my dreams	`Wed Jun 21 1989 11:52`	17
	heart-rending and inconvenient as it may be, I heartily applaud calling a wedding off rather than gutting it out and going through with it because one has avowed an intent to marry. seven years ago, my sister-in-law called off her wedding 4 weeks prior to the wedding date. issues arose needing to be addressed before she felt she could vow in good conscience to spend her life with her future husband. [this was _not_ pre-wedding jitters] if the issues could not be resolved, there would be no marriage. happily, they were married eight months later and have a solid relationship. some would say that nothing was served in calling off the wedding as they married in the end anyway. but if they had married in the hope that things would resolve themselves later, things might not have and they would have been miserable. Ann
253.9	don't make vows!....you don't know if you'll want to keep them!	SALEM::SAWYER	but....why?	`Wed Jul 05 1989 15:14`	12
	sadly...it ended... happily....they solved their dilemna why not...happily it ended....? or...happily...they got married....and then...happily...they got divorced...and then...happily...they had other relationships... and then...happily...those relationships ended and they happily moved on to other parts of their lives where there are...happy....