| Title: | What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'? |
| Notice: | Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS |
| Moderator: | ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI |
| Created: | Fri May 09 1986 |
| Last Modified: | Wed Jun 26 1996 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 1327 |
| Total number of notes: | 28298 |
Let me start this off by saying the following may sound cold, it
is not meant to be that way, just a comparison of ideas on the subject.
At one time or another we have all experienced either ourself leaving
a relationship or someone walking out on us. Now in the case of
you leaving, the things you leave with is the memories of the good
times from the relationship and the experience of what was wrong
with it. This experience hopefully is what keeps you from making
the same mistakes again.
But in the case of someone else leaving you (especially if you
still want them) that person, I feel, takes a part of you with
them when they leave. In any major relationship you "invest"
a great deal of feelings in the other person. When they leave you
they take that part of you with them.
Its almost like a check book with human feelings and emotions as
the entity in the book.
Now the questions here are these
When you leave what do you take with you ??
When someone else leaves you (assuming you dont wish them to leave)
what is it that that person leaves with ??
Are those feelings refilled when someone else comes into your
life , or is it like a totally different account ??
If its happened often enough do you (or have you ) gotten to a
point where theres less to give a new person ??
That you have lost the ability to believe in another person,
since so much has been taken away ??
Bob B
| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 170.1 | Presses one of my buttons... | HPSCAD::WALL | I see the middle kingdom... | Tue Dec 09 1986 12:35 | 46 |
>When you leave what do you take with you ??
The one time I moved to end a relationship, I took the satisfaction
that I had helped the other person get through a very tough time.
She convinced me that I was not completely incapable of love and
compassion.
> When someone else leaves you (assuming you dont wish them to leave)
>what is it that that person leaves with ??
I don't know. I never asked them. Except for the case cited above,
the goodbye (if it happened at all) was usually very succinct.
I seem to remember a feeling of wondering why I had bothered.
> Are those feelings refilled when someone else comes into your
>life , or is it like a totally different account ??
They are never the same. Admittedly, my sample is small. Strange,
how happiness comes in little discrete pieces, yet pain seems to
mix all together.
> If its happened often enough do you (or have you ) gotten to a
>point where theres less to give a new person ??
I have to hope no, but the evidence (in my case) suggests yes.
> That you have lost the ability to believe in another person,
>since so much has been taken away ??
Once again, hope no, believe yes.
"It's like being in the desert and wanting a cup of tea. After
enough time passes, it's all right. You stop wanting it."
-Gregory McDonald
"Fletch Won"
DFW
in something of a bitter mood just now
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| 170.2 | Murphy's Romance | MARCIE::JLAMOTTE | Tue Dec 09 1986 12:52 | 14 | |
I have decided I would like to play the dating game again after
many years of watching from the sidelines. When I placed my note
in the singles files I said to myself..."I am not going to be specific
about what I am looking for...I will be open to new experiences."
What I have discovered is I am a sum of those past experiences,
the men I left and the man that left me. I have expectations that
I have accumulated from the good experiences and baggage from the
experiences that caused the relationships to deteriate.
And I like the baggage especially because if gives me confidence
that the next experience could be the one where I...
"Fall in love for the last time."
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| 170.3 | Your reserves are trully infinite! | FLOWER::JASNIEWSKI | Wed Dec 10 1986 08:45 | 12 | |
The human mind has an infinite capacity for creativity and the
expression of love is a creative act. Like a painter, if all his
previous works were taken away and burned, could he not still create
something just as beautiful?
Remember, to be loved, you must be and feel love-able.
"Old love never dies, it simply exists in a quieter place"
Joe Jas
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