Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    I'll second that.  I do have a few friends that smoke, but I'm pretty
    sure I could never tolerate the habit in an SO
    (or even not-so-"S" O)
    
    I also have a concept of obese.  I don't mean overweight - I'm
    overweight.I  also don't just mean large - I mean obese.  And that
    is definitely a turn-off.
    
    					--Doug

    Ditto for cigarette smoking!  Don't let that mouth anywhere near
    mine.  Am extremely allergic and hate having to carry my asthma
    medicine-machine EVERY where I go: restaraunts, Digital cafeteria
    (designated smoking area, ya sure, smoke rises, travels and sits
    all over your clothes, hair, etc.)  I rest my case.  And, it kills!
    
    Another turn-off: drugs and people who say they are not dependent
    on them.   If I meet one more person who does "pleasure drugs" I
    am going to tell them where they should go and that they are giving
    this world a bad name.  And, they are destroying themselves and
    the people that love them.
    
    The only other turn off: COUCH POTATOES!

    Couche potatoes... oooh, that hurt !

    Now, now...there are a few positive things that a couch potato 
    can contribute to this world.  First, if they are at home, then
    they're not driving on America's highways and biways and otherwise
    clogging up the streets.  Second, they are off the streets, causing
    nobody trouble...except of course, thier wives/husbands.  Third,
    just think where American television would be without couch potatoes.
    They would be out of business!
    
    Now, what turns me off (and I know I'm going to get verbally abused
    for this, but here goes)...Those self righteous NON smokers out
    there who for one reason or another, don't like smokers, and would NEVER
    date one.  All for this same tired reason that they don't like how
    these people are killing themselves AND the ones who love them.
    Now, I can understand thier feelings on this, but (and this is a
    tired excuse also) those same smokers have a RIGHT to ruin thier
    lungs and subsequent lives.  These smokers, however,  should have 
    the common courtesy to at least ask if it's okay to smoke in the 
    presence of known non smokers.  It's getting to the point where
    we can't tell the NON smoking crusaders from the religious crusaders
    who are (even as I type this) lobbying for the banishment of soft
    core skin mags from the counters of our assorted stores and shoppes.
    
    					Phil
      
    

    Re: .4
    
    Smoking is definitely one of the biggest turn-offs for me, and it's
    not because the person is ruining their lungs. It's because I hate
    cigarette smoke. In a friend, smoking is tolerable. In an SO, it's
    very hard to tolerate. Kissing a smoker is not a pleasant experience.
    When I see an attractive female light up a cigarette, she quickly
    loses her attractiveness.
    --
    						Seth

    re: .2 (my own) & .4
    
    	This is one person with a real live allergy to smoke - cigarette,
    pot, you name it.  I grew up in a household where both my parents
    smoked and neither were very courtious about it around dinner
    or any other time.  When I finally got old enough that I could walk
    away from the table whenever someone lit up, they started to realize
    that I was serious about no longer tolerating smoking in my own
    home while I had food on my plate - a matter of courtesy, rather
    than a smoking issue per se.
    
    	I don't permit smoking in my car because my motion sickness
    as a child has been tied to my smoke allergy and traveling in a
    car full of smoke.
    
    	Perhaps this topic is not the place for this discussion, but
    you have my permission to commit slow suicide in any manner you
    please so long as you respect my right to breathe.
    
    	So, once more for the record -- smokers are a big turn-off in
    my book.
    
    
    				--Doug

Turn offs: Gum chewing.  Cigarettes too, but that point's been made already

re .1 (I think)  One of my very best friends in the world is obese.  I'm not
going to get into what she has and hasn't done to lose weight, the matter is
that being fat for some people is genetic, like being short or unattractive.

We hear a lot at DEC these days about valuing differences.  People who can't get
past this one are dealing with another form of racism (or some 'ism') and I
hate it.  I realize that callng something a turn-off is not the same as
discriminating against a person but one can lead to another.  It's worth 
considering.   

Mark

     
     Coneheads.
     
     --Mr Topaz

    I am also very allergic to smoke. My sinuses become inflamed
    and I cannot breath. So it's more of a health matter than a
    turn off.
    
    Bad breath doesn't do wonders for me. It hurts especially at close
    range.
    
    Mike

    Democrats.
    
    - M

    I have a problem with smokers as well.  I am allergic to cigarette
    smoke and really don't enjoy kissing a smoker.  For that reason
    (which has nothing to do with their right to smoke or anything else)
    I wouldn't consider starting a relationship with a smoker (they
    probably wouldn't want to have one with someone who kept telling
    them to quit, anyway).  Couch potatoes are a problem, not because
    of their right to couch (which they have) but because I watch maybe
    two hours of TV per week.  Call it a conflict of interest.
    
    Other turn-offs:  phoniness, mirrored sun glasses, and especially
                      someone who can't/won't look me in the eyes when
                      they're talking to me (see "mirrored sun glasses").
    
    Mary-Michael

    
    	Those who do not reciprocate really turn me off. Not to say
    that they *have* to ...
    
    	Joe Jas
    

    In reply to 37.9
    
    I don't want to be a turn off - so.....
    
    First - I am glad I am a non-smoker.  
    
    Now for my turnoffs -  I can not tolerate lying or people who take
    it upon themselves to lie.
    
    I don't know about you guys (seems like the replies have been from
    males) but a male/female with too much cologne/perfume is enough
    to make me walk out of the room.
    
    And....people who cannot accept a difference of opinion, and always
    have to have a right and a wrong......
    
    Laura
    

    In reply to .17 - Joe, I somewhat agree with you, but not exactly.
    
    I would use the word appreciate!
    

    
    
     those elite (or so they think they are) groups of people who have
    friction burned noses from dragging it across the ceiling as they
    walk by.  
    
    Sauna_Rat
    
     one day they will slip in their own shit and see just how bad it
    really does smell

RE: .13
    
    Right on!!
    
    
    Also, brown-nosers and people who get ahead by stepping on others.
    
    					(^:	Positive Pat	:^)

    Peace-Makers.

    Hold on a moment here.  The question I posed in the base note was
    intended to be restricted to outwardly-visible attributes, not
    inner philosophy.  The idea was to give people an idea of what is
    a turn-off to someone who hasn't actually met you yet - in other
    words, what could you possibly do to improve your chances of being
    attractive.
    
    Smoking, obesity, heavy perfume/cologne fit this category, though
    I admit that many will have a hard time improving obesity.  I'm
    also not attracted to women who wear too much makeup or jewelry,
    or clothing inappropriate to the environment.
    
    True, once you meet someone and start to learn what they are like,
    you may find them more attractive than you first thought, or less,
    but if you are repelled in the first place, you'll never know, will
    you?
    					Steve

	I'll second smoking and drugs.
	
	AND perfume - another allergy-inducing trait. I don't think
	I'm specifically allergic to perfume, but in hay fever season
	it definitely aggravates my eyes and nose.
	
	Excessive makeup (or pretty much anything that shows someone's
	a believer in "It's better to look good than to feel good").
	Trust yourself! If you concentrate on improving and
	emphasizing your superficial attributes, you'll attract
	superficial people.
	
	Mike

    Re .27:
        What's the matter with webbed feet?  Think they'll swim too
    fast for you?  I have a brother with webbed feet.  Does make it
    difficult to wear sandals, though.
    					Steve

    Bad breath in general can turn me off quickly to someone that I
    previously found physically attractive.
    
    I personally used to have bad breath, until I happened to change
    dentists.  The new one told me I had inflamed gums.  He scraped
    the plaque off and said I need to floss my teeth every day, and
    showed me how.  My breath's been peachy fresh ever since.
    
    So now, often when I encounter someone with bad breath, I suspect
    they too could use some advice about going to a dentist and flossing.
    However, I have yet to be bold and tell them, even though it might
    very well be a valuable contribution to them if delivered sensitively.
    
    By the way, if you suspect you have inflamed gums and bad breath, the
    next time part of your gums hurts, gently press a fingernail slightly
    between tooth and gum.  Then smell your finger.  You'll know !
    
        /Eric

   re: .26  Egads, Denise... you must wallow in self-hate!!!! ;-) ;-)
    ;-)
    
    				*** Kristy ***
    
    Hmmmm about things that turn me off... people who wear too much
    perfume/cologne (men or women), too much makeup (women), people
    who wear clothes that look painted on (men or women - they look
    cheap to me) (I know, I'm a prude!) ;-) people who interrupt (if
    they just kind of walk up to you and your friends and totally ignore
    whoever is talking and starts up hi/her own conversation).
    
    

    Re: .25
    
    On excessive makeup & other indications of a "better to look good
    than feel good" philosophy:
    
    Right on! This kind of attitude makes me want to gag! The other
    problem with excessive makeup it that it doesn't even look good!
    
    						Feeling good,
    
    						Seth
    

    people who chomp on gum like it's going out of style.  men (and
    women, although i personally don't know any who do it) who chew/spit
    tobacco...  
    

Talking of EXTERNAL turn offs ...

Not to join the crowd, but ... I also find smoking a turn-off, mostly because I 
can't breathe around it.  It causes me *serious* problems in any significant 
concentration.  I don't care that they may be hurting themselves (actually I 
do), but it hurts me more and immediately.  And that's a big turn-off.

Other possibles ... unkempt appearances, poor dress (now what's interesting is 
a suit can be poor and worn jeans can be great - figure that inconsistency 
out!), ultra-obesity, violent behavior, excessive boisterousness (rowdy to the 
nth degree, well into the nuisance category).

Sure wish this topic wasn't restricted to EXTERNAL ones - the INTERNAL ones are 
fertile ground.

-steve-

    Those who look and smell like they are allergic to soap and water.
    
    -sunny-

    This may sound strange...

	I LIKE the smell of cigarettes burning.  Sure I used to smoke
    and quit because of the coughing/nausea in the morning, but I still
    like to sit next to smokers.

	The smell of it on hair or breath is another story...

    - tattoos
    - liars
    - smoking
    
    Bahama Mama

    Clashing bright colors, particularly phosphorescent colors
    
    re. 33
    
   Billie - Gerald said I wuznt a man if I had to spit when I chewed 
   

A couple in an icecream parlor tasting eachother's
icecream.. aaaa, how shall I put this.. intamately.  I think
that everyone who saw this display was totally grossed out.

Maybe then it was just because it was in public... 
Maybe not.

    I heard that Ellen!
    
    					
    	You just can't hang around our poker parties anymore!
    
    				OO
    				\/         
    
    						Phil
    

    re .42
    
    Bob, I could never tell when you were chewing...  :-)
    

    
    Obesity
    Body Odor
    Bad Breath
    Rotten or Missing Teeth
    Jeans with a baggy seat hanging down too far
    Polyester print shirts from the 70's
    Double knit polyester pants
    Extremely short hair cuts
    
    
    Lorna
    

    I'll toss both sexes in here:
    
    Excessive makeup on women
    Obesity
    Loud obnoxious people
    People who eat/chew with their mouths open "Smack! Slurp! Gulp!"
    Men who try to act so macho as to make Rambo look like a pansy
    (sign of real insecurity)
    People who are always bragging, can't converse without one upping.
    Snoring
    Snobby Attitude
    
    
    The list goes on and on
    
    Ray

A long time ago I knew a woman who wore extremely heavy makeup.  One time I
broke down and asked her if it hurt her eyelids trying to hold them up!

-mark

    1) Attitudes/behavior:  the worst offenders here are people who think
    they're better than everyone else.  The kind of person who won't
    give you the time of day because you don't fit some description
    - you're too fat or too poor or too stupid or too ugly or you aren't,
    in some way, "with it".  Luckily I don't meet too many of these
    folks, but they make me feel lousy and angry and I have an instant
    dislike for them.  I'm not confusing these with the ones who are
    just shy, although perhaps a few shy folks do this without knowing
    it.
    
    2) Physical:  Real slobs, in both dress and hygiene, are a complete
    turnoff.  I don't mean the casual look, I mean slovenliness.  Anyone
    can at LEAST wash their hair and body and clothes and tie their shoes!
    I also would rather not go out with a smoker, and would not want
    to live with one.
    
    3) Mental:  I'd rather not have relationships, either friends or
    SOs, with people who cannot reason with some semblance of logic.
    Notice, I am not saying "noone without an IQ above x need apply"
    - having a high IQ does not automatically mean someone can think
    straight.  Also, I'm not saying that it should be MY sort of
    logic (no acid comments from those who know me, please! ;-)), in
    fact it makes things more interesting if it isn't.  Besides, I
    don't know ANYONE who thinks in the same way I do!  But there
    are some folks that, talking to them, you'd swear they're on
    drugs of some sort and they're NOT.  I don't think I could cope
    with that on a daily basis.
    
    --Louise

    1. Noses with hair sticking out.
    
    2. Perfume worn anywhere you can taste it.
    
    John M.

    first time replying
    
    makeup on women
    loud men
    weird hairdo's
    

    re.32
    
    There's no harm in wanting to look good. 
    
    
    Turn offs:
    
    People who think they are "Gods gift to humanity".
    People who can't listen, because they are too busy trying to say
    something about themselves.
    Bad-mannered people.
    
    Gerry.

Interesting, this one.

Long ago, I used to be turned off to unshaven arm pits on women.

It all changed in college though . . .

One weekend I had a date for a barbeque with a young lady I had
just met the week before.

When I picked her up to go to the barbeque, I was shocked and revolted
to discover that she was wearing a sleeveless dress and had unshaven
arm pits !

What was I to do ?  I was stuck with her for the day.  Not only that,
but we were going to a barbeque where people that knew me would see
us together.

Well, I had an unexpected transformation.  Somehow, by the end of
the day, I was actually TURNED ON by the unshaven arm pits.  It's
not that the lady and I hit it off, we didn't, but I just transformed
my attitude for no explainable reason.

From that point on, unshaven arm pits on women have actually turned me
on.  A bit moist ?  Better still.  Kind of reminds me of another dark
hairy moist area.

So, you never know when a turn-off will become a turn-on !

/Eric

    �Kind of reminds me of another dark hairy moist area.
    
    	Your mustache????
    
    	hehehehehe
    
    							mike

Uh no.  Too many jibes about the dead slug that crawled up under my
nose and died.  So I shaved it off

/Eric

      People who play to the crowd

    This list could go on forever!
    turn offs:
    smokers
    ding bats( not dumb just prefer to act that way)
    rude drivers
    Mass (the state)
    painted ladies those that look like their face would crack upon
     smiling
    macho men
    macho women
    insensitive people
    sea food
    tourists
    people that drive 45 on the hiway
    people that drive 45 on my street
    slobs
    nose pickers
    tooth pickers(at the table)
    people that leave their tray set on their desk for hours or days
     after lunch
    men that bent over/sit down and allow their pants to display for
     the world what noone wants to see!
    
    thinking about what turns me off!
    

    two more:
    people that say "ya know"
    people that use broken english
    

        RE: 37.64 < No Mr. Machos, please! >
        
        >     o scruffy beard
	>     o ponytails or long hair
        
        Sniff! I am deeply hurt. :-)
        
        JimB.

    re: .64 What do you expect people to write after reading a list
    like that?  The only thing that "turns me off" are people that make
    a list like that and get away with it.
    
    flame = off
    
    I'll share a related story.  My boyfriend of 5 months would not
    be considered "mr. gorgeouso, 1986" ,and we both admitted to each
    other that if we saw each other in a "bar", we would probably not
    approach the other but you want to know what?  We fell in love 
    (after meeting each other in THE_PHOENIX (aka SINGLES) despite
    the "external" features that make us the unique individuals we are
    today, that don't happen to be the features we dreamed about living
    with day after day.  But, we do and well, that's my story.
    
    For other noters, please try not to be offended by .64 remarks.
    What turns others *OFF* may just light the fire of someone else.
     You never know who will be watching.
         

        Please, please. There was a smile after the "Sniff!". I'm not
        deeply hurt by the stuff in .64. It's author has every right to
        not like my scraggily beard or the long hair that I'm regrowing,
        Just as I have every right to feel that trying to shave this
        silly thing off and taking more skin that alleged beard just
        ain't worth it. The differences that make the world go round
        aren't just the diffrences in our features, but the differences
        in our preferences as well. Not only should we value my right to
        a bit of scrffiness, but we should value others right to find
        it unappealing.
        
        JimB.

    So, shoot me for being human.  I think it is a shame that our
    generation has to be "turned on" by the external features that people
    have i.e., tall, dark handsome oh, and I left out "rich".  But,
    you can't see rich from across the room.
    
    I'll tell you quite honestly that if a man wrote a note that listed
    the things that turned him off in a woman, well, I could identify
    with some of the "turn offs" but I would be proud that I am a loving,
    caring human being.  But, you can't see that from across the room.
    Glad I don't have to look anymore.
    
    When I read this note, I thought a typical "turn off" would be liver
    and onions, brussel sprouts, "rainy days and Mondays" and a zero balance
    in my checking account.  Well, add those to my list of turn offs.
    

    Alright, I'll play the game.  Ready:
    
    1) smokers, smoke, cigarettes, cigars, pipes, ashtrays, ashtray
    mouth, and lose ashes that burn MY clothes, in other words, people
    who smoke (thanks Steve, I just read your note  and I agree)
    2) men who are married that cheat on their wives and we see this
    happening at Digital alot
    3) women who are married that cheat on their husbands (I know it
    happens but I never witnessed it)
    4) backstabbers in the work place
    5) sloppy eaters in restaraunts (well, anywhere for that matter)
    6) children "on" drugs 
    7) anyone "on" drugs for that matter
    
    Physical turn-off, well, obesity.  Extreme definitions though. 
    My boyfriends' father has a weight problem but I love him just the
    same.  
    
    Ta Ta 
    
    (I won't give my opinions anymore to whatever submissions
    are here.  I will just stick to the topic.  I don't want to 
    be "turned off" to Human_Relations.

    Re .64, well, I must say that I *do* like long hair, scruffy beards,
    and drugs.  However, I have to admit that rotten or missing teeth
    is quite the turn-off.
    
    Lorna
    

One thing that turns me off is when someone's breath, even from a modest
distance of about 3 feet, smells like a sewer.

Several times, I've been initially quite attracted to some woman that
seemed quite good-looking to me.  Then, she started to speak and WOW,
the stench !  Suddenly she didn't look so good anymore.

Mouth washes do *not* work.  Quite often, bad breath can be solved
by a good scaling twice a year at a dentist's office, and (this next
part is IMPORTANT) every day taking a few minutes to properly floss
the teeth.  Most often, the bad breath is due to gum disease continually
being supported by food and plaque between the teeth and gums.  Floss
removes this, allows the gums to remain healthy, and keeps mouth
smelling nice.

It's not all that easy to test one's own breath.  However, if you've
got any gum-bleeding or a "sore gum", try gently inserting
your finger nail between sore gum and tooth, then smell your nail.  If
it smells bad, it's time to go to the dentist !  (of course, any prolonged
gum-bleeding means go to the dentist anyway).

I know a bit about this, as I used to have the problem.  Now, the daily
flossing does wonders.  I've even heard a dentist say that if you need
to skip a day (like if you're too tired to brush), o.k. don't brush
that day, but make sure you floss !  The flossing does more good.

/Eric

    re: .72  My girlfriend in college had the *best* oral hygiene
    imaginable.  She flossed, brushed her teeth after every meal, visits
    to the doctor 2 times a year but still had the worst bad breath I
    had ever encountered (except for my sister, but she smokes).
    I contribute it to her *improper* diet because your
    mouth isn't exclusive: it's connected to the esophagus that leads
    to the stomach.  And if your eating habits are bad and digestion
    is improper, than this can be a reason for halitosis as well.

    I have just come across the most fantastic mouthwash that I have
    ever encountered.  My periodontist recommended it.  It is called
    Peridex.  The only thing is that you can't buy it over the counter.
    You need a prescription.  I belong to the Matthew Thornton Health
    Plan and I just called my doctor and asked her if she would call
    it in for me, which she did.  It costs somewhere in the vicinity
    of $8.00.  I used it last night and my teeth felt so smooth and
    clean upon wakening this morning.  My periodontist has everyone
    on his staff using it.  

    1. MEN WHO JINGLE CHANGE IN THEIR POCKETS
    
    2. PEOPLE WHO DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR EYES WHEN THEY TALK TO YOU.
    
    3. SPIT ON BEARDS
    

Re:      eye contact


	PEOPLE WHO COUNT THE FLOOR TILES AS THEY PASS ME IN THE HALL

    As a glasses wearer, let me ask you a question:
    
    What would you like me to do with my glasses when they start to
    slide -- wait till they tumble off the end of my nose????????
    
    --bonnie, not intentionally being rude
    

    As another glasses wearer - I was wondering the exact same thing
    
    Bonnie J

    Oh, I know why my glasses slip down my nose:  My face slopes.
    One stem rests on my right ear, the middle on the bridge of my
    nose, and the other stem hovers over my left ear.

    So I wear contact lenses mostly, and almost never have to push
    them back into place.
    
    							Ann B.

    There are certain gestures that some people can make a ballet 
    of.  I have a friend who adjusts her glasses elegently.  

    Recently I got a new pair of glasses which weren't fitted just
    right. I noticed I was pushing them up a lot. Then I noticed
    that a good friend was touching the bridge of his nose when he
    talked to me. So I got my glasses tightened. Most people who
    neglect the problem (including myself) are unaware of it.
    
    Bonnie J

    What turns m off:
    
    	people who complain a lot, don't smile or say hi.
    	people who let little things upset them, like glasses
    	being pushed up (seem to be the same people who complain
    	a lot)
    	people talking on a subject they know little about
    	girls who keep getting there nose scrached on the ceiling
    
    barry

    TALKING BUSINESS ON LUNCH HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    
    I know these won't win me any Mother Teresa Compassion awards,
    but the following things drive me NUTS
    
    1. BAD TASTE.  Just no excuse at all.  Excuse me m'am, are those
                   four inch heeled pumps that you are wearing with
                   those jeans?  Sorry, tacky....
                   Excuse me sir, is that a stretchy polyester jacket
                   in forest green and brown plaid?? Is that a 3 inch
                   span of hairy leg between the top of your sock and 
    		   the hem of your pants?  No, I'm afraid not.....
    		   Tell me please, did you choose the wallpaper with
                   the giant blue liberty bells and the couch in red
                   crushed pseudo velvet?  You did?  Do not pass go
                   and do not collect 200.00......
    
    		   Please note this is not a matter of money, this is
                   a simple matter of taste; chances are that the red
                   flocked couch would cost more than a plain haitian
                   cotton tuxedo style. 
    		   
                   Let's be constructive, how can these atrocities be
                   stopped?  How can unknowing offenders learn from
                   their mistakes???   We all would benefit from the
                   establishment of a taste police, where offenders
    		   would be obligated to rehabilitate and learn to know
    		   better.  Wearing dark hose with white shoes??  Sorry
                   m'aam, a month of knee socks and loafers for you.
                   Is that a plastic slipcover on your living room chair?
    		   FOR SHAME, for the next two weeks, you will only
                   be permitted to have lawn furniture in the room.
  
    		   Don't get all mad now everyone, I'm only being
                   sarcastic, but its a pleasant fantasy.
    
    2. BAD GRAMMAR As in the phrase "He don't have no couth"....
    
    3. (I'm bound to get into big trouble for this one.....) 
       BOSTON ACCENTS, I realize that  regional accents make the world 
       a more colorful place, but please, everyone, try to pronounce your
       r's .....
       
    4.LITTLE YELLOW SIGNS, AND THINGS HANGING DOWN FROM REAR-VIEW
      MIRRORS LIKE DICE, GRADUATION TASSELS, OR PLAYBOY LOGOS (see
      item #1, above.....)
    
    5. THE OPINION (not the people themselves) THAT RONALD REAGAN
       IS THE GREATEST PRESIDENT THIS COUNTRY HAS EVER KNOWN....
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    
    O.K. noters, ready....aim....fire!
    
    bye,
    Ann                 

        Excuse me, but tha's "He ain't got no couth", which if you are
        from a couple of northeastern cities is properly pronounced "He
        ain't go no coot", perhaps with a slight asperation on the final
        "t".
        
        JimB. 

    I'd like to gently remind people that this note was not intended
    to be a general list of gripes, but opinions of certain physical
    characteristics that tended to make someone look less attractive
    to you.  I think that we have digressed into SOAPBOX territory with
    the more recent replies.
    
    					Steve

    I get really teed off by people with Haitian cotton couches who object
    to my crushed-velvet sofa with the lion's-head arms . . . 
    
    --bonnie, whose goal in life is to sell thousands of novels and
              buy a really tacky late Victorian house with a million 
              pounds of gingerbread trim 

    
    re.94
    
    shall we say "the original one"!?

	Bostonians don't drop their Rs --

		they just stick them in other words.


	You know, the Rs from PARK and WATER go to words like IDEA(R) and 

    
    then explain Rlington to me please....

    CAR SALESMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    I HATE 'EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    NEW AND USED!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Loud complaint...
    
    Sherm

    RE: -1
    
    You have not met my sister, you'd like her :-) (and she sells cars)

    RE: -1
    
    'course, I never said anything about saleswomen :^) who sell cars,
    but maybe that's because I never encountered one.  BUT, is she
    single AND selling cars? (in case I change my mind about the car.)
    
                                  :^)
    
    Sherm

    WEll.. Sherm... anytime you need to buy a Ford/Lincoln/Mercury/Dodge
    and you are in New Mexico, I'll see that you two have dinner if
    you buy the car from her... 'okay :-)
    
    Gale_Shari's_Big_Sister

    
    Uh, Gale, are you sure YOU'RE not the one in car sales?????
    
    Let's see...your incentive to meet 'lil sis and the car I have in
    mind would produce about a $19,000.00 dinner!  Naturally, I'm
    buying.  :-(
    
    Let's wheel and deal. ;^)  (sigh) (you can't escape it.)
    
    I offer dinner and a "discussion" about the car. :^)
    
    Sherm_in_Colorado_who_can't_stand_his_imaginary_Lamborghini_anymore
    
    
    
    

      Gale, you got it all wrong, your sister said she works in cars!!!:-}
    
                     REK
    
    PS I hope she finds happiness in selling cars!!!! ~/~  :-}

REK...

Only you would find happiness in a car, personally, I prefer..... :-):-):-)


BTW: when is that "KING" going to appear?...

Re: -2...

Okay, you got a deal, if you're ever in the New Mexico area that Shari is 
in, you'll never be able to say again, that you hate "all" car salesmen :-)

Gale_Shari's_Big_Sister

      A new King is going to be here Feb. 7th Or at least thats what
    the Doc says. I'm still saying last week in January.........
    
                 REK
    Hmmm.... We want a little girl....Does this means she'll be Queen
    King??????

    
    
    	As long as it's not a boy and STILL a Queen King! :-) :-) :-)
    
    						mike

    RE:.0

    People who seem to want to make a point that they
    "where here first".

    This is a little late but I just happened to be in here looking
    and felt like I wanted to reply.  The biggest turn off for me is
    a non smoker who he thinks he has no other faults. He can fart,
    burp, pick his nose, be a slob, etc. but none of that is as bad
    as smoking. It's too bad some people waste all their time complaining,
    whining, and looking around at how imperfect everyone else it. 
    
    I hate non smokers who hate smokers for that reason only....

    Unfortunately I've found that that's not the only thing they complain
    about usually. I have dated several non smokers who aren't the
    complaining type and it's worked out fine as I am a considerate
    smoker and am concerned about how my breath smells when I'm close
    to people and eat mints, etc. if I plan on being close. To each
    their own. That's just a big turn off for me - a complaining non
    smoker.... I guess we won't have to worry about it though because
    as soon as I lit up they'd be grossed out anyway...
    

       
    Re: .111
    
    > This is a little late but I just happened to be in here looking
    > and felt like I wanted to reply.  The biggest turn off for me is
    > a non smoker who he thinks he has no other faults. He can fart,
    > burp, pick his nose, be a slob, etc. but none of that is as bad
    > as smoking.
    
    What you're saying reminds me of some of the ads I used to see in
    some of the "personal" ads in the Boston Phoenix (in its much more 
    underground days) or some of the "swinger" magazines.
    
    There would be couples looking for males and/or females, to complete
    threesomes, foursomes (pick a number) who were into S & M, B & D
    "water-sports", etc.
    
    Tacked on the bottom of the ad, however, usually was this 
    admonition:
    
      "We're not interested in anyone who smokes or drinks".
    
    I guess they had to maintain *some* standards.
    
      Alan 
                                                

    	re:114
    
    As an ex-smoker, I hate being around the ignorant smokers who put
    butts out in the urinals, drop them in a coffee cup and leave it
    on the table, smoke where I eat, burn holes in the carpets, make
    burn marks on furniture, burn holes in _MY_ clothes, etc. Of course
    you've never done any of that right???? You can eat all of the mints
    you want but you hair and clothes smell like an old ashtray and
    at least a "fart" will disperse after a minute or two, the smoke
    odor from you does not. Your car and house smell the same too!!
    You can't believe it because you can"t smell it. There are no curteous
    smokers, it's not because they don't try, it's because the habit
    is uncurteous.
    
    No Offense is meant to _YOU_ personally, the intent is a
    generalization.
    
    Ken
    

    
    RE .117  Smokers ARE offensive to you and a turn off and complaining
             non smokers ARE offensive to me and a turn off.

    RE .116  Do I hate smokers who hate non smokers for that reason
             only ? I don't hate (maybe that's a little heavy - dislike)
             non smokers because they don't smoke. (That's a no) I dislike
             the ones who think for some reason that they are better
             than I am because they don't smoke. Most of us have some
             undesirable habits and I personally don't think smoking
             is one of the worst ones...  

    Re: .118
    
         You have said that you hate non-smokers who hate smokers for
    being smokers.
    
         BUT, do you hate smokers who hate non-smokers simply for being
    non-smokers? 
    
                                    Greg 

    Let me remind people that the intent of this note was to have people
    describe external habits or appearances that were a "turn-off" to
    them.  If anyone used the word "hate", it was probably an exaggeration,
    and not meant to be directed at the person.  "I hate it when X
    does Y" is not the same as "I hate X".
    
    Sure, some natural body functions can seem offensive, but unless
    the person was deliberately doing these things, I wouldn't worry
    about it.  Smoking is a deliberate choice.
    
    				Steve

    
    I guess I would have to say YES although I've never known a smoker
    who hates non smokers  SIMPLY  because they don't smoke.

    
    Sheree

    Re: .122
    
         If you have really never known one, then I think you should
    visit the SMOKERS conference, especially the earlier notes.  Quite
    an experience.
    
                                     Greg

    
    RE: .123
    
    	I think you've got it wrong, there are no smokers who stated
    	that they hated non-smokers, but before the mods put their
    	foot down there were plenty of non-smokers who stated such.
    
    	I'd much rather be around a smoker than someone who picks
    	their nose and then eats it.  Yuck!!!! (This I've seen in
    	non-smokers :^))
    

    Re: .124
    
         Nose-picking is not exactly unknown among smokers, Buddy.
    
                                      Greg

RE: .118

>	I dislike the ones [non-smokers] who think ... that they are
>	better than I am ...

You got it all wrong. They do not think they are BETTER than you, 
just BETTER OFF.

-- Ron

	Re .123

	Whose nose do u expect people to pick (and eat), Yours?
	Anyway they can only pick and their nose once.

    
    RE. 127
    
    Wait a minute, I have to disagree, unless you only have one nostril...
    
    
    Getting back to the main theme here...What turns me off are women
    who come on like gang busters.  I'll admit I enjoy the initial feeling
    that "A" particular woman who might be coming on to me wishes or
    does by nature express herself completely, but after a while it
    makes me a bit uncomfortable, especially when people, friends and
    strangers alike, start looking at me like, "Just where is her hand
    going, Hmmm??"  That stuff can wait until we at least get out into
    the car, for crying out loud...When I want something to hang on
    me, I usually get dressed.  That my input.
    
    P.S.  How do you folks get those cute little one-liners next to
    your name up top??
    
    						-Elliott
    
    

    re .128
    
    Elliott,
       type 'SET PROFILE/PERSONAL_NAME="string"'
       
    substitute "string" with anything you like...make sure you include
    the double quotes.  To check that it worked properly:
    
       type 'SHOW PROFILE'
    
    For more info type 'HELP SET PROFILE' or 'HELP SHOW PROFILE'
    
       - Larry
              

    i agree with Elliot (.128)
    
    as a *newly* single man, i get very nervous when a woman "presses".
    
    genuine care/like is one thing... but, i a put off by competitiveness.
    and too much aggressiveness.  it's fine at first....but, i'd rather
    go slowly.
    
    tony

    
    
    One of the wierd things about this aggression issue that I've just
    noticed:  I had recently met a young lady two years my senior, not
    that it makes a difference, but, anyway, we hit it off very well,
    although I had noticed that she was VERY friendly.  As the relation-
    ship progressed, it got very intense, and then suddenly burnt out.
    She pushed away and said she wanted to cool things off a bit.  I
    didn't mind because I thought things were too hot and heavy for
    the amount of time I had known her.  A week has gone by and now
    she's asking to start it back up again.  I have a great deal of
    apprehension.  I think some guidelines are going to have to be set
    right off the bat.  Otherwise, we'll be right back in the same position
    we were in just last week.  And I'm still not sure if I want to
    start it up again anyway, because I feel this has made a real lasting
    impression.
    
    Where are those "Ivory Girls" when you need one???
    
    						-Elliott
    
    P.S. re. 129 thanks Larry!
    

    HMMMM.....PHONY PEOPLE ARE A MAJOR TURNOFF, ANYONE
    WHO WALKS WITH THEIR NOSE IN THE AIR AND THINKS, HE
    OR SHE IS BETTER THAN YOU IN MY OPINION IS A TOTAL
                     *****JERK******

    Re:-1
    
    Phony People I have to agree with.  They don't have to be snobs
    to fit into my "phony people" category.  They just have to not be
    themselves.  I believe that you are best at being what you are so
    do bother being someone that you are not, you'll just come across
    phony.  I agree people like that are *****JERKS******
    
    Bill
    

>>                        -< Some_People_ARE_Superior_! >-

	 Of COURSE!  Like the poster in my office says!

		All men are NOT created equal.

	 oh....but I think you were referring to superior in OTHER
	 ways, right?

	 8^)  Many smiles..

	 kath

    Some things that annoy me:
    
    when people stare at the numbers at the ceiling of elevators instead
    of saying hello.
    
    when people pop out of a side street or store in their cars, right in front
    of me, making me brake too quickly, then they turn off into another
    side street or store, as though since they're only going a few doors
    down, it's ok to cut in like that (the same people, if travelling
    a longer distance, wait for a safer place to cut in)
    
    (similar to evelators) when people on the subway are standing or
    sitting right next to me, and keep glancing but don't say hello
    
    when people use pickup lines instead of merely saying hello
    
    
    

    
    People who knows that they are superior to others and yet rub it
    in (like "in your face") annoys me.
    
    peter
    

    
    Dirty fingernails
    B.O.
    Dandruff
    Total dependancy (of any sort)
    Lethargy
    Negative outlook
    
    and
    
    Ancient underwear that should have been thrown out five years ago!
    

    o Overly skinny women are for me a real yuk!
    (cant understand this crazy business where a
    lot of women get super-paranoid if they are even a tiny bit over
    what they consider normal)
    
    o Women who slap the makeup on with a trowel/spade/other garden
      implement 
      
    but hey - I get married in 6 weeks so I shouldnt even be looking
    at this - right?
    
    Cheers
    

    WHITEHEADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    

    The number one, unsurmountable, unignorable, turn-off is (dum de
    dum dum dum)  PEOPLE WITH NO SENSE OF HUMOR	!!!!!!!  I can ignore
    or disregard almost all other things (I have trouble with snobs
    and 'the unclean')  but someone with no sense of humor is a complete,
    total, turn-off.  

    People who burp and fart constantly, act like it's nothing, and
    seem oblivious to the fact that most people do not consider this
    behavior to be socially acceptable.
    
    People (usually men) who seem to be constantly spitting on the
    sidewalk.  This is a disgusting habit and I can't understand why
    some people do it.  Do they have more saliva in their mouths than
    the average person or what?
    
    People who get food all over their mouths while they are eating
    and talking to you, and don't wipe it off for a long time.  (Am
    I supposed to tell them to wipe their mouth?  Just reach over and
    wipe their mouth for them or what?)
    
    Men who get stuff from their nose (commonly called snot) in their
    moustaches and don't realize it, and all the while they're talking
    to you, you can't help staring at it and wondering if you should
    tell them.
    
    Lorna
    

    Re: -1
    
    Yech.  I'm glad I'm not living in your corner of
    of the world. :^)           
    
    Sherman
    

    RE.145
    
    Gee, you just described a guy who works a few offices away from
    me.  ;-)
    
    

	 My biggest turnoff......



	 Not giving a person a chance, but condemning them because of
	 their looks, attitudes, etc based on stereotypes........    


	 Heard from my mother last week....."He has LONG
	 hair?????????????????????????????????????  Kathy, I don't
	 want you dating someone like that."

	 /kath_miffed

    
    
    	Yay Kath!!!
    
    

    re: .148
    
    My first reaction is to agree with you; prejudice is the pits.
    
    My second thought was that your mom has set herself up royally:
    
    �	 Heard from my mother last week....."He has LONG
    �	 hair?????????????????????????????????????  Kathy, I don't
    � 	 want you dating someone like that."
    
    So won't Mom be pleased when you tell her you've started dating
    someone with *really* short hair, then walk in with someone like, 
    say, Telly Savalas. . .
    
    Steve

RE .150:    My first reaction is to agree with you; prejudice is the pits.

	 Just wait till I tell her he's unemployed.

	 

	 She'll disown me.  ;-)


	 


	 /kath    

.151>	Just wait till I tell her he's unemployed.
    
    	You can also tell her that he doesn't do drugs, he cares for
    	you very much, and SHE isn't the one dating him!
    
    							Carla
    

.152>-< no one's gonna make you fight for your love life >-

	 No, but they can sure make life miserable!  ;-)
	 
>    	You can also tell her that he doesn't do drugs, he cares for
>    	you very much, and SHE isn't the one dating him!
     

         :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)
	 :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)
	 :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)
	 :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)
	 :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)

         	 /kath

I find that as I age, many of my "turn-offs" from years before aren't nearly
so important...in fact, some of those less-than-perfectly-handsome guys are
now my most treasured friends...and folks with very different taste in clothes
or habits, or haircuts have often come to the rescue when I've needed help or
a kind word...even some guys with tatoos...8^}

If you find yourself listed in any of these "Turn-off lists", remember that
you will get much more attractive to your peers as you age and grow wiser...and
THEY age and learn some humility, kindness, and the value of a sense of humor.

    turnoffs are stuffy people, mundane people, inflexible (stuck) people,
    and people who look down their nose at you because they think they're
    so much better.  Also people who aren't at all creative and can't do or
    think anything original.  And tattletales.
    
    -Jody

    
    i will second the mundane thing.  
    
    i hang out with some people who try to be normal, and they claim
    to be mundane, but i know better.  if they truly were mundane, 
    why, they would have nothing to do with me!  nor would they give
    in to pressure from me to do some crazy things......
    
    

    People who are stuck in their late teens, when they are in their
    thirties.....mindsets with the private jokes, doing the same thing day
    after day, never venturing out...."What, you want to see us?, well, why
    don't you come over"..."But I was inviting you over if you had no
    plans"..."Oh, well, we'll be in all night if you'd like to stop by!"
    
    G*d, this drives me nuts
    
    JayCee
    

    
    - kiss'n'tellers
    - emotional manipulators
    - people totally hung up on their image
    - people who play power politics/mind games
    
    For starters...
    'gail
    

    Not being able to converse
    
    Makeup (mostly for practical reasons)
    
    Perfume (for purely practical reasons)
    
    
    Regarding the lists of
�    - kiss'n'tellers
    ... and so on:
    
    A lot of the emotional problems you guys are pointing at are admittedly
    destructive, but I can't say they've actually interfered with my
    libido, which, left to its own devices, always seems ready to fixate on
    fellow neurotics.  But that's why rationality was invented, right?
    
    Ray

Re - 155:

So Jody, 

Why do you associate with me?? :-) 

Grins,

clark.

    Gee....must be *some* reason. ;)
    
    -Jody
    

    Turn offs.... apologizes that are more a complaint list then a real
    apology.  Being shut out by someone who feels it's better to ignore
    then explain a problem.  Women who are ALWAYS right, it give me
    a complex.  Women who are ALWAYS wrong.  People who think they know
    it all.  Making spelling errors in notes and having them "rubbed"
    in my face... I don't mind a friendly pointer but a snobbish attitude
    burns me!  People who think they have no creativity... EVERYONE
    has some degree of creativity in some way or another... mostly it's
    a case of choosing to explore or sitting on your butt and twiddling
    your thumbs.  
    
    That's a good start...
    
    Skip

    re.162.... I should explain,  
    >Women who are ALWAYS right... are a turnoff when they rub my nose
    in it consistently or use a snobbish attitude to point out my errors...
    
    >Women who are ALWAYS wrong... when they can't admit they may have
    made a mistake or fail to explain a problem and expect everything
    to correct itself.
    
    Some current experiences with someone as well as past experiences
    made me choose these two.
    
    Skip

    A total turn-off for me is someone who cannot normally converse
    without cursing every third word.
    
    						--Eric--
    
    P.S. Discourtesy ranks a strong second place.....

    ...low self esteem
    ...constant apologising for self or views
    

    
    
    
    			PAYING BILLS!!! I HATE PAYING BILLS TO 
    	
    			FOLKS LIKE PSNH! THE OIL ZARRS! THE ROBBER
    	
    			BARRONS LIKE OUR FEDERAL GOVERMANT!! 
    
    
    Flame off
    
    Geo

Amazing how we've strayed from the base topic, isn't it?

			Steve

	Hairs hanging out of his nose, hairs growing out of his
	ears.

	

	kits

    Ahh Kits... and I was going to introduce you to my room mate out
    here in California too....;-)
    
    Skip

	Self-rigthestness and all other god-playing rolls.
	How will they ever handle their first mistake?

    re: .171
    
    Easy.  They never make one.
    
       - Larry

    Once I thought I made a mistake....
    
    But I was wrong.
    
    
    :-)
    
    Skip

    re: -2
    
    so... if you thought you made a mistake and you didn't, then you *did*
    make a mistake... only not when you thought you did.  but, when you
    *thought* you made a mistake, then *that's* when you made it.  
    
    on the other hand, 
    
    
    if you think i care, you're mistaken.
    
    tony
    8*)

    No... actually when I thought I was mistaken I wasn't mistaken because
    I was wrong... On the other hand if I was wrong then I did make a
    mistake but was mistaken about the mistake that was actually wrong
    or was I wrong about the mistake in the first place?
    
    Hmmm I think I belive I know what I might have said, but I'm not sure
    if I understand what I thought I said was not really what I meant.
    
    Ummmm... maybe I'm just confused ???
    
    Skip

	Welcome to New England, Skip.

    
>    Ummmm... maybe I'm just confused ???
 

	What else is new...Peanut Butter ?   :-)
   


	kits

	I can't fail to disagree with you less

    Right!  Glad I could clear it all up for you!
    
    Re... Kit.... be nice to me or I won't let you crack the wipe any more.
    
    Thanks for the greeting to New England... I'm looking forward to
    meeting people here abouts so don't be shy folks.
    
    :-)
    SKip

>     <<< Note 37.180 by TRACTR::HOGGE "Dragon Slayer For Hire...Crispy!" >>>

     
 >   Re... Kit.... be nice to me or I won't let you crack the wipe any more.
                                                             ^^^^^

	The word is *whip* Peanut Butter...........the way your wrote
	it ...it almost looks obscene  :-)

	Are you and MG up for another party ???   
  


	kits

    I Know how I spelled it.  
    
    Think about it.  
    
    Re the party.... when? I'll have to check with M.G. too... but yeap 
    I'm up for it!
    
    :-)
    Skip

    Just found this note---You people are funny (turn on)
    
    Turn offs...
    
    Pessimists - whispering - people who wear their pants so low that their
    crack shows (get the spackle) - pocket protectors - people that wear
    their badges outside of work - bugars that are visible - zits.