Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    Pat, "trust me"!! ;>)
    
    Business issues (Internal Use Only, Company Confidential, etc.)
    are goverened by policy and a pre-employment agreement. If business
    trust is broken, the employment relationship can be terminated.
    
    In "confidential" personal communications (and I would not include
    VAXNOTES) problems usually arise when the "rules" were not stated
    before the information was communicated. I believe it is important
    that both parties understand the reasons for, and the results of,
    not passing information to certain individuals or groups.
    
    Then you have the cross between business and personal. 
    
    As a manager I may be asked to listen to information that may be
    harmful to DEC. I have to make it quite clear before the communication
    begins, that I may have to make a value judgement and further
    communicate the information. 
    
    Now you have two trust issues...Do I trust this individual with the
    information, and do I trust his/her judgement? Gets complicated even
    between individuals who know each other. For people who have never seen
    each other it comes down to maturity and motives. 

    
   
    But, please, don't tell anyone I said this........
    
    -greg-

    I think trust is a very vague word.... and means so much...
    
    When there was a discussion going on in Marketing and
    Security_Information about Sales Update, I was one of the ones in
    there fighting that what was done was right - I was told that that
    information was for public type knowledge... I trusted the person
    who told me, but I also trusted myself enough to call the editor
    of Sales Update and have a very long talk with her about what I
    was percieving and had been told... [So I was wrong.... that is
    usually the case 8-)...]... But the trust on the professional issue
    had to lay with me... if there was reason to doubt, I had to have
    enough trust to go look the material up myself.
    
    I trust a peer in the office to work with me, and to give me the
    information I need, becuase we are DEC and we work for the good
    of the company.  I trust my manager to stand behind me and back
    me up, and to be there if I need him.
    
    In my personal life, I trust my kids to do what I tell them to do,
    until they give me reason to not trust them. And then I point out
    what they have done wrong and trust them again.
    
    With my personal relationships - I always trust people - I have
    been hurt more than once and burnt VERY badly because of it, but
    even the people who have hurt and burnt me, I still would trust
    with my life, because I believe in life, and I believe that people
    are good, you just have to keep trying to find that good in them;
    whether they want that good found or not.
    
    Trust comes from within, and has to be developed from within...
    if you can't trust, you are not living a rich life, and I feel sorry
    for you...
    
    Gale
    
    

        Thank you Gale. You've said very nearly what I would. 
        
        Trust, like love, is an action that we perform. People are
        fallible by their very natures. If you trust them, inevitably
        they will eventually fail you. If you allow that failure to
        prevent you from trusting, you are doomed.
        
        On how we can trust strangers to do what is right, I can
        recommend one other thing. Make sure that the rules of the game
        are known, and don't put up with violations of those rules. It is
        important that we make the system trustworthy. As an example we
        have to trust the security of our net (the only other choice is
        to not do business over it and that is too expensive to
        consider). We must continually uphold it. When, as will
        inevitably happen, it is compromised, we each must take actions
        to fix the problem. 
        
        JimB.

     Both "trust" and "no trust" has costs.
    
    The cost of "no trust" in business, at least, is the waste of time
    and money in making contracts "air tight" with specific clauses
    for non-performance penalties, as if both parties could do better
    to defraud each than to fulfill the contract.
    
    The cost of "no trust" on a personal level is the burden of anxiety
    and suspicion that one who trusts no one carries throughout their
    life.

    On Paul Harvey's the rest of the story I remember hearing the origin
    of the term "best man". It was said that in the days of the Norse
    and castles that the groom and his chosen men would storm the castle
    to steal the bride. The groom would take one man into the interiors
    to find his bride while the rest of the band would fight in the
    courtyard. Once the groom had his maiden in hand (or over shoulder)
    he wuold find it difficult to fight so his "best man" was with him
    to see that he got out with his life and his lady love.
    	My own saying is simpler " When it's getting deep and it's going
    to hit the fan, I'd give him my left one to hold just in case I
    lose the right one." There are just those times when there is no
    limit on trust because circumstances won't allow limits. Should
    that ever happen to you I hope you have someone to trust or may
    God help you (because you'll need it or Him)
    

    trust,like love,is a decision

    Perhaps a series of decisions?

    
    If the basis of peace is God, the secret of peace is trust.
                                                      Alfred Edersheim
    
    Trusting means looking forward to getting something we dont yet
    have for a man who already has something doesn't need to hope and
    trust that he will get it. Rom 8:24
    
    He who trust men will make fewer mistakes than he he woh distrusts
    them. 
    
    When you are flying on plane, riding a cab, a bus or any other kind
    of vechile you have to some kind of trust in them, dont you?
    
    The man that trusts God is the man that can be trusted.
    
    
                             RM

    re.9
    
    Exactly!
    
    When you buy a hamburger in the cafeteria, you have to trust that it is
    edible.  You have to trust that the building will hold up while you're
    in there.  People trust a lot more than you think.

    
    you have to to trust that the hamburger did not meow at least once
    during its lifetime, which is trusting a lot to Tobin...

    re .11, if I couldn't trust that a hamburger never meowed, I simply
    could not go on!  (Better that it had spoken in English.)
    
    Lorna
    

          <<< Note 6.12 by DELNI::STHILAIRE "for instance me, baby" >>>
                             -< there are limits >-
>>>    re .11, if I couldn't trust that a hamburger never meowed, I simply
>>>    could not go on!  (Better that it had spoken in English.) 
>>>    Lorna
    
    A modest proposal, I think.
    
    Jim