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Conference bookie::movies

Title:Movie Reviews and Discussion
Notice:Please do DIR/TITLE before starting a new topic on a movie!
Moderator:VAXCPU::michaudo.dec.com::tamara::eppes
Created:Thu Jan 28 1993
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1249
Total number of notes:16012

297.0. "Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer" by RNDHSE::WALL (Show me, don't tell me) Mon Aug 16 1993 10:39

    These don't rate a seperate topic each.
    
    These are some of Arnold Schwarzenneger's earliest film work -- early
    eighties stuff I believe he landed directly after The Terminator,
    though the memory clouds with the passage of time.
    
    The first one, Conan The Barbarian, spends about half an hour
    giving us a new origin story for Robert E. Howard's premier
    sword-and-sorcery character.  The ties to Howard's work are largely
    through nomenclature.  The various locations and most of the character
    names either come from Howard's stories or come out of real history. 
    Subotai, for example, was Genghis Khan's right hand man.
    
    The script was by John Milius (who also directed) and Oliver Stone
    (who probably doesn't put this on his resume any more).  Once the
    who-and-what of Conan is over, it's off into a not overly complex revenge
    plot.  The principal villian is played by James Earl Jones.
    
    One can't help but get the feeling, watching this, that the script was
    tailored to the limitations of Arnold's acting ability.  It's a good
    twenty minutes before he has a line of dialogue, and the better part of
    an hour before he says more than a word at a time, and the film has
    long stretches where people don't say anything.  Fortunately, the Basil
    Pouledouris score fills in nicely and helps with the mood.  Sandahl
    Bergman does a lot more with her role than you would have expected. 
    It's hard to look rugged next to a guy like Conan, but she does a
    pretty good job.
    
    The sequel, Conan the Destroyer, has the same semi-tenuous ties to
    Howard, a cameo by a sports figure (Wilt Chamberlain instead of Ben
    Davidson) and a fairly weird performance by Grace Jones.  This one was
    written by Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway, names comic fans will
    recognize.  Roy Thomas, in fact, wrote Conan stories for Marvel Comics
    for a long time, and one would have thought he could come up with
    something better than this tale of an innocent, virginal princess, a
    wicked queen, and a pretty stock looking monster whose name was
    borrowed from H.P. Lovecraft.  The fight choreography, which was pretty
    good in the first movie, is closer to silly in this one.
    
    These movies are for people who like the genre.  Conan the Barbarian is
    a pretty good selection for this type of thing.  If you don't like the
    way Robert E. Howard wrote, you'll actively hate this.  And if you
    don't like violence, these should be avoided, because they are very
    violent, and the first one is particularly gory.  Conan the Destroyer
    is probably worth a 99 cent rental if you're a Robert E. Howard fan, or
    a Schwarzenegger completist.  These are not deep, and that's kind of
    too bad.  Picking Arnold to portray Conan had the great disadvantage
    that Arnold Schwarzenegger is really only capable of showing one side
    of the Conan character.  What it really called for was someone built
    like Arnold who could act a bit more.  Maybe if you put a hundred
    pounds of muscle on Daniel Day-Lewis...
    
    DFW
    
    DFW
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297.1Conan preceded Terminator37811::BUCHMANJust say NOtes!Tue Aug 17 1993 19:0839
    
    > These are some of Arnold Schwarzenneger's earliest film work -- early
    > eighties stuff I believe he landed directly after The Terminator,
    > though the memory clouds with the passage of time.
    
    Actually, I'm pretty sure that Conan the Barbarian was Arnold's first
    movie ever. It came out around 1982, whereas the Terminator was around
    1984. Believe it or not, he was much more polished in the Terminator!
    
    Previous to that time , Arnold was a Mr. Universe winner who went on to
    do some videos, and I believe a book, on weight training called
    "Pumping Iron." I remember seeing those Mr. Universe contests; of all
    the incredibly convoluted musculature there, A.S. was the only one who
    looked vaguely human. For the part of Conan, he said that he was *TOO*
    heavily muscled, and had to work himself down!
    
    "Conan the Barbarian" was campy but fun. We didn't expect much when we
    first went to see it ten years ago; it was interesting to see a
    bodybuilder with a heavy accent try to make it in the movies. At least
    he had sufficient muscle tone to live up to the covers of all those
    Conan paperbacks. What is surprising is just how much he has grown as
    an actor--still no Dustin Hoffman, but I think he does a very competent
    job.
    
    > The first one, Conan The Barbarian, spends about half an hour
    > giving us a new origin story
    
    Wasn't that funny? In Conan's childhood, his village is attacked, and
    about a dozen children (himself included) are taken as slaves on a long
    journey. It ends at this big stone pinwheel with a dozen handles on it,
    sitting in the middle of nowhere. All the kids are enjoined to grab a
    handle and push it around and around in circles, which looks like very
    hard work. You go from a scene of a dozen small children pushing this
    wheel, to six older children pushing it, to three teenagers pushing it,
    to one full-sized Conan pushing it by himself. the implication seems to
    be that he was the only one to survive the wheel ordeal, and that he
    wasted fifteen years of his youth doing essentially nothing. I had
    always wondered what the purpose of that wheel was: primitive
    electrical power, maybe?
297.2He'd like you to think that...QUARRY::reevesJon Reeves, ULTRIX compiler groupTue Aug 17 1993 20:0430
It may be the first thing Arnold will admit to these days, but if the
databases are right, it was hardly his first movie:

Hercules in New York (1970) (as Arnold Strong)
Long Goodbye, The (1973)
Stay Hungry (1976) (N:GG)
Pumping Iron (1977)
Scavenger Hunt (1979)
Villain, The (1979)
Jayne Mansfield Story, The (1980) (TV)
Conan the Barbarian (1981)
Conan the Destroyer (1984)
Terminator, The (1984)
Commando (1985)
Red Sonja (1985)
Raw Deal (1986)
Predator (1987)
Running Man, The (1987)
Red Heat (1988)
Twins (1988)
Kindergarten Cop (1990)
Total Recall (1990)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Lincoln (1992) (TV) (voice)
Last Action Hero (1993)

That note next to Stay Hungry means he won a Newcomer Golden Globe for
that one.  And Sandahl Bergman got one for her CtB role -- probably the
only award either of the Conan movies got.  (I'm not sure I believe the
'81 for CtB; I also think '82 is right.)
297.35259::SHERMANSteve ECADSR::Sherman DTN 223-3326 MLO5-2/26aWed Aug 18 1993 14:046
    I actually enjoyed Arnie in "The Villain" as "Handsome Stranger" (named 
    after his father).  Also enjoyed the love interest named "Charming"
    (after the first thing her dad said when he found out his wife was
    expecting -- "charming ...  just charming ...").
    
    Steve
297.4Trivia mongeringRNDHSE::WALLShow me, don't tell meWed Aug 18 1993 15:234
    
    The big wheel was a grist mill.
    
    DFW
297.512035::MDNITE::RIVERSWed Aug 18 1993 15:3011
    You know, you'd have thought they (whomever snatched those kids in the
    first place) would, over the passage of 15 or so years, have snatched a
    few more to replace the ones who'd died.  Maybe kidnapping went out of
    style.  Then again, if one guy is determined to push all by himself....
    
    Also, I rather like the imagery of Conan wasting all those years of his
    life pushing a Wheel of No Real Purpose.  It's more fun than a grist
    mill.  :)
    
    
    kim
297.6This is not Sun tzu we're dealing with...RNDHSE::WALLShow me, don't tell meThu Aug 19 1993 10:304
    
    The Vanir were never known for their brains.
    
    DFW
297.7books character was much better3131::PRIESTLEYTue Aug 24 1993 18:4414
    I like the original story better, it is much more interesting to know
    that the story's hero was already a battle veteran at 15 years old and
    had a wealth of experience by the time he was twenty with which to go
    off and conquer the known world.  The Conan character of Howard was not
    stupid, though the movie Conan was pretty close to it.  The movie Conan
    would not have been able to conquer Aquilonia, with the book Conan it
    was only a matter of time.
    The Conan novels were among the first fantasy novels I ever read way
    back when I was in fourth and fifth grades.
    
    Andrew
    
    Some would say that this would explain a lot.  I dunno
    
297.8ACESMK::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Tue Aug 31 1993 19:282
    These are good movies for watching with a group of friends, even better
    if there's beer....
297.912035::MDNITE::RIVERSWed Sep 01 1993 11:208
    Let us not forget "Red Sonja", which was really "Conan III" in
    disguise.  Sort of fun in the same mindless way that two Conan pics
    were.  
    
    
    Cheers,
    
    kim
297.10He doesn't like Red Sonya34315::JBOBBJanet Bobb dtn:339-5755Wed Sep 01 1993 18:5415
    A show on TV last week - "Macho Men of the Movies" (or something like
    that) had interviews with Stallone, Clint Eastword and Arnold. 
    
    When asked about how he felt about some of his early movies - he said
    he liked most of them because they were fun (Hercules in NY). But, in a
    specific reference to Red Sonya, Arnold made the comment to the effect
    of "looking for a place to hide whenever it is on".
    
    BTW - the show was much better than the title would lead you to
    believe. It consisted of interviews, both recent and from over the past
    10 years, mainly contrasting the difference/growth of the actors and
    their characters.  Host/interviewer (tv critic from NY) was rather
    pathetic, however.
    
    janetb.
297.11Conan the KingPOLAR::TYSICKYou're a daisy if ya do...Tue May 21 1996 12:389
    Now I don't know where I heard it (probably the radio) but there's
    a rumor goin' around saying that Arnie was offered the Conan III
    role, but he turned it down! I guess they'll find another muscle-head
    to take his place?  Has anyone else heard such a rumor?  
    
    	It's too bad really, I can see him now sitting on his throne with
    many followers waiting to follow his every command.  
    
    	I think he should...do you? 
297.12Do you want to live forever?MARVEL::DAVIDCIt can't rain all the time.Tue May 21 1996 13:076
    
    Crom 3 would be good if Arnie played the lead and they made it like the
    first one. The Destroyer was not up to par IMO.
    
    
    Subotai.
297.13NETCAD::SHERMANSteve NETCAD::Sherman DTN 226-6992, LKG1-2 near pole G17Tue May 21 1996 14:163
    I can already "hear de lamentations o' de wimmin' ..."
    
    Steve
297.14POLAR::LYLEGot a picture of a photographWed May 22 1996 00:495
    
    re: .12
    
    That's because he spoke more than 80 words...... =)
    
297.15I like them!HOTLNE::SHIELDSSat Dec 28 1996 02:5610
297.16ODIXIE::MOREAUKen Moreau;Technical Support;FloridaSun Dec 29 1996 20:2349