| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 906.1 | how do you negotiate? | KAOFS::M_BARNEY | Dance with a Moonlit Knight | Wed Sep 22 1993 17:25 | 10 |
| I would consider this a name question, but a negotiation question.
What do you and your spouse do when you have a disagreement on
any issue? Do you spend much time marketing your cause, do you
negotiate? Do you stand fast?
How much does the chosen name mean to you/your spouse? What grounds
does the other party have for not liking the name?
Or, you can always have twins ;-)
Monica
|
| 906.2 | Mom gets priority | AMCUCS::MEHRING | | Wed Sep 22 1993 17:51 | 21 |
| Well, my personal opinion is that since the woman has to go through the
*pain* and other minor discomforts of pregnancy and childbirth, she
should have the final say in what the name is!
That aside, there can be compromise as in - woman picks the girl (or
boy) name and the man picks the other or one picks the first name and
the other picks the middle name.
If I truly loved a name and my husband vetoed it, I would expect a fairly
good explanation, and I would be the judge of "good" ;-). Things like
"I once knew a _______ in H.S. and I didn't like his attitude" just
don't cut it in my book. Now if he says "My H.S. sweetheart's brother
was named that and it would always remind me of her..." - well, then
I'd have to consider if this mattered to me (or was a bluff, etc.).
After a little time passes, the child and the name are so tightly bound
that you will only have good connotations about his/her name! It will
really override any other view you've ever had of that name - I guess
this is the beauty of it.
Interesting subject...
|
| 906.3 | | KYOS02::CHANG | | Thu Sep 23 1993 10:38 | 10 |
| In my case, I was very lucky. My husband didn't have a particular
opinion for either child. In fact, I had selected boys and girls
names before I was even pregnant both times! But what I did take
into consideration was the fact that he can't say certain sounds
with any ease (English is a second language for him), so I stayed
away from names with those letters. When I made my decision on
names, it was more which would be first and which would be middle
that I was concerned with. It all worked out just fine.
Chris
|
| 906.4 | I was lucky, too | VAXWRK::STHILAIRE | Food, Shelter & Diamonds | Mon Sep 27 1993 17:15 | 27 |
| When I was pregnant I was *very* interested in choosing a name for the
baby, and all my husband cared about was that I didn't choose a name
that he didn't like. He basically said he'd go along with whatever I
picked as long as he didn't hate it. I remember one day I kept
suggesting name combinations to him until he finally said in
exasperation, "Oh, for god's sake! I'm sick of this name stuff! Name
it whatever you want!!" :-) Actually, this was fine with me as I
always had very firm ideas about what I wanted to name any kids I might
have. I don't know what I would have done if I had been married to
someone who really wanted to name our child a name that I hated. I
just wouldn't have gone along with it. It matters too much. We would
have had to arrive at a compromise. Fortunately, he liked both names I
chose:
Melissa Renee and Jason Andrew
(Melissa is now 19, and Jason never got born. We stopped with one
child. I wanted a girl, anyway, so no problem there.)
It would be awful to be married to a guy who insisted on a name I
thought was hideous! In that case, I think I'd just have had to put
my foot down. :-) The naming of my children is a situation where I
would just *have* to have my own way.
Lorna
|
| 906.5 | Not fair | AMCUCS::MEHRING | | Mon Sep 27 1993 19:27 | 18 |
| Okay, so I've run into a "reasonable" excuse for my husband not
liking a name on our list - but I'm still not ready to axe it yet!
He said he just didn't like it, phoenetically (the name is Chad). I
was a bit surprised since this name has been one of the top 2 boys'
names on our list for the past 9 months... And the upsetting thing
is that I had actually come to *prefer* it to the other top name, so
now I am panicked to find a second option (not "sure" it's a boy, but
I'm convinced it is and I want to have 2 options I like to choose from
after "meeting" the baby)!
Guess it's back to the drawing board (or the bookstore for a name
book)...
I realize I'm ignoring my own credo of the woman having the final word,
but I am secretly reserving the option to pull rank if this child just
looks like a "Chad" to me!!! (but don't tell my husband...) ;-)
-Cori
|