T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
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186.1 | | DRUID::KARDELL | | Tue Mar 19 1985 09:18 | 22 |
| I heartily endorse your writing efforts, but I wonder exactly what your
purpose really is . I am willing to give constructive criticism (for what
ever that is worth considering my level of expertise) if that is truly your
purpose in placing that tantalizing tidbit of story in these notes files .
Ready for a critique ? First impressions are that you have some very good
imagery working for you, but that it is over run by trying to pack too much
factual data about the society into the first two paragraphs . My suggestion
is that you let the plot of the story turn up these historical facts for you
rather than forcing it in the first few lines . The hook is standard formula
stuff "Then I found something that changed it all....." . The success of this
technique depends on what follows . I would hope to find out more about
"Anonymous" and what that person found later in the story, otherwise the
reader will feel cheated .
So much for constructive criticism from an amateur, I am not sure this
file is really the place for this kind of activity, but I do not mind seeing
it here . I can guess that we will hear a few other opinions soon .
Good luck, and keep writing !
Jon
|
186.2 | | USWAV3::HYATT | | Tue Mar 19 1985 10:35 | 12 |
|
Jon, I agree. It is always alot of fun to read, write, and
critique original scifi. But this probably isn't the place
to put it. Perhaps a new notes file is in order ??? I am
all for an amateur scifi writing notes file, but where do
we find a system that can support it? Perhaps an alternate
method would be to form a distribution list and mail directly
to those who wish to participate. I'm sure there are alot
of talented noters out there just itching to let their
creative juices flow....
Mike
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186.3 | | TUNDRA::BAGDY | | Wed Mar 20 1985 07:25 | 4 |
|
Sorry I disappointed you. I retreat back to the 'BOX.
|
186.4 | | EXPERT::WICKERT | | Wed Mar 20 1985 10:26 | 11 |
| I was not disappointed... I liked it! When are you coming with a
short story?
Unlike others I say keep it here!
If it is about SF put it here. Other types of writing can go
to other places, but let's center all SF writing here.
Regards,
Dave
|
186.5 | | RHETT::JELICH | | Wed Mar 20 1985 12:04 | 10 |
| Don't quit looking for the words that define what you see. Not everyone can
even see in the first place (or rather they see different things). If you get
the urge to share a vision, don't worry about someone being disappointed
(can't please everybody, even the best writers have people that hate them).
Wish I had your courage to let people see my attempts. For now, they collect
dust.
Beth
P.S. And keep it coming if there is more. Or enter it when it's ready.
|
186.6 | | DRUID::KARDELL | | Wed Mar 20 1985 13:23 | 12 |
| I am happy to see you getting more support ! I was hoping to see
positive feedback for you . I don't mind seeing writing here in this
notes file (as I stated in .1) and there does not seem to be any HEATED
objection showing up yeat .
By the way, I was not "disappointed" by what I read, just giving some
well meaning, but admittedly amateur, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism . I hope that
was what you were looking for . I am interested to see more when you are
ready .
Remember, keep writing !
Jon
|
186.7 | | USWAV3::HYATT | | Thu Mar 21 1985 09:35 | 18 |
|
Terrific ! As long as there is no problem with disk space etc,
I'm glad to see this kind of writing here too. Nothing better than a
little noontime scifi....
A suggestion: I was involved in another short-story writing notes
file, now disbanded, and we found it a good idea to put comments/critiques
in a different note (ie not as a reply). This way as the author(s) come up
with new chapters, they are added to form a continuous story which is much
nicer to read or print. It could look something like this:
#100 STORY: Nomads of Time
#101 COMMENTS: Nomads of Time
Who knows, maybe we'll be the first ones to read the works of the
next "Hogan"....
To anonymous: Thanks for the spark....and I'm still anxious to find
out what it was that "changed it all...."
Mike
|
186.8 | | TUNDRA::BAGDY | | Fri Mar 22 1985 03:41 | 11 |
| There will be more coming, and hopefully soon, but it isn't
actually in the form of a story. These are words to a group
of songs that have already been published and recorded. That's
why the title was " A different type of SF ", along with the
prologue that I submitted. I will submit the rest of the words,
granted I make it known that I did not write these. I did not
mean to mislead anyone to thinking I wrote them. Within the
near future, I do hope to be submitting something more original,
and written by me. Until then, I still remain......
Anonymous
|
186.9 | | ADVAX::C_WAY | | Mon Apr 01 1985 19:21 | 11 |
| Not to put a damper on this, but I believe your employment contract
states that if you do things on DEC time and with DEC resources, the
things you do become property of DEC.
If you were to enter a story that you eventually hoped to publish,
you might have to go through some legal rigamorole to get DEC to
relinquish the rights to it.
Anyone know for sure what DEC's policy is for this?
Charlie
|
186.10 | | PEN::KALLIS | | Tue Apr 02 1985 11:23 | 23 |
| I think if you check in Personnel Policies and Procedures, you'll find that
there are two ways something written can be handled:
1) If it's an engineering paper or technical note meant for a
professional audience (e.g., a conference or a paper in a
technical society journal) it's got to ba approved by an
ad hoc committee that includes the appropriate manager.
2) If it's meant for a trade press magazine or newspaper, it must
be cleared through the Public Relations department.
In both cases, the written work is preasumed to be work-related. Literary
efforts done on the employee's own time and not identifying the employee
as a Digital agent or representative nor conflicting with the company's
legitimate business interests (e.g., such as an article on how to build
a $10 computer in your spare time) are the employee's property.
However, using Digital resources or creating such literary works on Digi-
tal's time is clearly at variance with doing one's job as an employee. If
a cost center manager or designee authorizes use of departmental resources
after hors, that may be another story -- but check first before going ahead.
It can save awkward moments later.
The relevant policies are 6.06 (especially II), 6.08, and 6.30
|
186.11 | | ERIE::ASANKAR | | Thu Apr 18 1985 23:26 | 8 |
|
Re:8
I don't understand, is this a continuation of the narrative
or your admission of the story as lyrics from the song? Or is it
your character's admission, is he the anon. or are you
Don't ask me I just read here sam(14)[D[D[D
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186.12 | | NERMAL::TRIMBLE | | Wed Jul 17 1985 17:45 | 5 |
| Ever hear of a group called Rush.
Or an album called _2112_.
Chris
|
186.13 | | WOODIE::WROTHBERG | | Thu Jul 18 1985 00:14 | 10 |
| Of course. Overature, Temples of Syrinx, Tears, Passage to Bangkok, Grand
Finale, etc. One of their best albums. An incredible and innovative group.
Neil Peart is a great drummer, I've learned alot from him. (I'm obviously a
drummer)
- Rob
(Try Triumph too)
|