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Conference noted::sf

Title:Arcana Caelestia
Notice:Directory listings are in topic 2
Moderator:NETRIX::thomas
Created:Thu Dec 08 1983
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1300
Total number of notes:18728

120.0. "Instructions" by XENON::GAUDREAU () Wed Aug 15 1984 14:33

                                                                    15-Aug-1984
INSTRUCTIONS - by Bob Leman

         This  is  the  only notice you will receive. You will follow the
      instructions set out below.
1.
         Dress  warmly  and leave your house. Do not tell your family you
      are leaving. Do not talk to them at all. Do not listen if they talk
      to you.  Dress warmly and leave your house.
2.
         Proceed  at  a brisk clip to the center of town. Do not speak to
      anyone  in  the  street.  Do  not - no not - become involved in any
      conversations.  Step right along.  Do not tarry.
3.
         At  the  center  of  town,  in  the  little park across from the
      courthouse,  is  a  building  that was not there the last time  you
      were  downtown. It will strike you as a very ugly building, and its
      appearance  will  make  you feel apprehensive.  Pay no attention to
      such  feelings.  Do  not look right or left. Enter the building. It
      has only one doorway and no visible door.  Go right in.
4.
         You  will  find  yourself  standing in a cold gray mist, with no
      visibility  whatever.  This  will  cause  you  to  feel great fear.
      Despite the fear, you will follow instructions.  Advance six steps.
5.
         A  portion  of your mind will remain free of the constraint that
      has  been placed upon you, and that portion  will be observing your
      actions  with amazement, incredulity, and terror - since everything
      that  you are doing is without your advertence, and is, as it were,
      puppetlike.  If  you  survive  the  present  undertaking,  you will
      remember  everything  that has happened, but you will never be able
      to  speak  of  it. You will never be able to talk about anything at
      all  that  took place after the instant you looked at the symbol at
      the  top  of  the first of these sheets. The configurations of this
      symbol  are  such  that it caused you mind to be wholly obedient to
      these  instructions.  You  have  no  choice. You must do as you are
      instructed.  Under no circumstances will you lose these sheets.
6.
         From  this  point onward you will read only one instruction at a
      time.  Do  not  read  instructions  number  eight  until  you  have
      accomplished  what  was instructed in number seven, and so on. Read
      each   instruction   completely   before   beginning   to   comply.
      Instructions  from  this  point onward will carry from time to time
      comforting  words  of  reassurance  and  explanation, as a means of
      preserving  sanity  in  the  portion of your mind that remains your
      own.
7.
         After  you  have advanced six steps, stand quite still. You will
      immediately  feel  an  unpleasant  sensation.  It will, in fact, be
      agonizing   pain.  Ignore  it.  It  is  felt  by  all  carbon-based
      life-forms  undergoing interdimensional translation. It will do you
      no  permanent harm, except possibly in a minor way to your muscular
      coordination  and  control.  If  you find yourself thereafter to be
      subject  to  facial  tics  or  spasmodic  jerkings  of  one limb or
      another,  pay  no  attention to them. You have much to do. Bend all
      your efforts toward obeying these instructions. Do not falter.
8.
         You  are now in Area One. This one will be easy. Look about you.
      What  you see will frighten you greatly. You will not let that fact
      hinder  you. It is just a landscape. It is only the fact that it is
      totally  alien  that frightens you. You have never seen or imagined
      anything  remotely like it. Words of reassurance: 26,844 members of
      your  race  have  been here before you. We know all about Area One.
      Follow  instructions  and  you will quickly be in Area Two. Perform
      the following acts: take four slow - very slow - steps forward, and
      immediately sidestep quickly - very quickly - to your right.
9.
         The  large  hole  that suddenly appeared where you were standing
      before   you   sidestepped   has,   literally,  no  bottom.  It  is
      characteristic of Area One that these holes appear. Close your eyes
      and  begin  to  run  as  fast as you can straight ahead. By fast is
      meant VERY fast.
10.
         You  have  been  unconscious  for some time, as a consequence of
      running  full  tilt into the wall that suddenly materialized. It is
      characteristic   of   Area   One   that   walls   materialize   and
      dematerialize.  If  you  had  not  spent an unconscious period, you
      would  not  now  be  reading  this instruction. You would have been
      disassembled by the indigenous energy foci. They did not sense your
      presence  because  you  were  unconscious.  It  may  be  that  this
      necessary  collision  has damaged you to some extent. Since you are
      reading  this,  the  damage  was not incapacitating. The wall is no
      longer  there. Walk forward, or crawl if you must. Pass through the
      discontinuity  portal  just  ahead.  You  will  perceive  it  as  a
      shimmer  in  the  atmosphere. The faster you pass through, the less
      painful it will be.
11.
         You  are  now  in  Area Two. There is no need for great haste in
      moving  on  to  Area  Three.  You may lie down and rest for several
      minutes.  Perhaps the pain you are almost certainly undergoing will
      abate somewhat. Area Two is, for your race, the safest of the areas
      through  which  you  must pass in completing your task. There is at
      this  stage,  time for you to absorb certain knowledge that will no
      doubt  ease the concerns that trouble the portion of your mind that
      continues to keep your identity. If that core of ego were to become
      hopelessly  insane,  it  would  affect  your comprehension of these
      instructions, and you would be of no further use to us.

         We  are  observing you as you proceed with your task, but we may
      not  communicate  with  you  except through these instructions. Our
      observations  will  enable us to amend the instructions for the one
      who follows you, just as you have benefited from those who preceded
      you. Eight hundred sixty-one members of your race have been in Area
      Two   before  you.  Each  was  like  you,  a  random  Homo  Sapiens
      sufficiently  literate to read the instructions. We have great hope
      that  one  of your race will be the individual to attain the end we
      desire.  We have only recently discovered you race. We find you  to
      be  docile and moderately intelligent, and physically better suited
      for  this  task  than  many  other races. You may have other useful
      qualities  as well that we have not yet discovered. Some life-forms
      have  proven  to  be quite useless to us. We tested them thoroughly
      before  turning to others. Between our last previous discovery of a
      useful  race  and  our  finding  of  you, we tested 773 intelligent
      life-forms. Twelve  hundred forty-four individuals of each of these
      life-forms were given these instructions. Every single one perished
      in  Area  One.  But  you  are  already  in  Area Two, comparatively
      undamaged,  and  ready  at  this  point to proceed, having had your
      state of mind improved by learning these facts.

         If  you are of the egg-producing sex, you will now discover that
      you have sprouted a thick and vile-smelling fur over large portions
      of  your  skin.  If  you  are of the fertilizing sex, you will find
      yourself  to  have scales instead of skin. If you are not yet large
      enough  to produce eggs or sperm, you will grow, from various parts
      of  your  surface,  horny lumps oozing a sticky fluid. These things
      happen to your race in Area Two. They will not affect your capacity
      to  carry  out  your  instructions.  In  each  of the areas, as you
      proceed,  phenomena  will  occur  that are undreamed of, and indeed
      impossible, in your original continuum. As you proceed from area to
      area, you are in movement outside space and contrary to time as you
      perceive  it;  the  bases of reality will differ from area to area,
      and  your senses will react to this shifting in often unpredictable
      -  and,  to you - always frightening ways. Pay no attention. Follow
      your instructions as long as you are physically able to do so.

         You  will  by  now  have  observed that as far as you can see in
      every direction the flat plain is studded with protrusions about as
      high  as  the  middle  joint  of  your  walking  limbs  (if you are
      full-grown)  and about as thick as your forelimbs. Each of these is
      topped  by  a spinning disk. They may be alive, but perhaps not. It
      does  not  matter.  You will note that some of the disks are of one
      color and some of another. We cannot give you a name for the colors
      because  our observations of your race have failed to associate the
      proper  words  with  your  sensory perceptions. Walk - or otherwise
      proceed  as  best  you  are able - among these protrusions.  Find a
      group  of  the  same  color  surrounding one of the other color. Go
      among  them  and  place  your  hand  on  the  disk  of  the  center
      protrusion.
12.
         You  have  now  been transported through another portal, and you
      are  in  Area  Three.  Three hundred thirty-seven of your race have
      been here before you. You are becoming inured to these transitions.
      The pain may have been less this time. We will now tell you that we
      lied  in  Instruction  11.  There  was  in fact danger in Area Two.
      Because  we  were  unable  to  specify  colors,  the  chance of you
      selecting  the wrong color was equal to that of selecting the right
      color.  If  you  had  selected wrongly, the consequences would have
      been  unfortunate - but we will not enumerate them, in the interest
      of preserving your serenity.

         Area  Three is in a universe with the same physical laws as your
      own;  it  possesses galaxies of stars, and some of these stars have
      planets,  just as your own star does. This planet is much like your
      home  planet.  It  abounds  in savage life-forms, most of which eat
      each  other.  We  tell  you this in order that you may be alert and
      wary.  You cannot prevail in combat with these creatures. Flee when
      you see one.  Hide, if you can find a place.

         You  are  standing  on the bank of a small stream. You may drink
      from it if you require water. Keep a sharp lookout. You have a very
      good chance of surviving if you can hide yourself in time. Here and
      there  you  will  see  holes that have what appear to be tangles of
      roots  at their  bottoms.  When you encounter a predator, leap into
      one of these holes, if there is one nearby and you have time. These
      holes  are  in  fact the  mouths of creatures that live underground
      with  only  their  mouths  exposed,  and  live upon whatever edible
      things  may fall into their mouths. You are inedible to them. After
      a  short  period,  the  creature  will  spit  you  out. By then the
      predator  may be gone, and you can proceed. Every creature that you
      see  will  be  a  predator.  There is no place to hide but in these
      mouths.

         Walk  upstream  along  the  brooklet.  Some  of  the  plants are
      predatory. Try to avoid them. Some of them will bind you with vines
      and  suck  your  blood;  others will paralyze you with a sting, and
      engulf   you  for  slow  digestion.  They  are,  however,  by  your
      standards,  lethargic and slow moving. Watch for them and dodge out
      of  their  way.  If  you  are  not badly damaged, you can move much
      faster  than they can. Walk upstream along the brooklet. Walk for a
      distance  equal  to  about  four  or  five  hundred times your body
      length.  If  you  are  small,  or  only  partially grown, it may be
      between five hundred and six hundred times your body length.

         Walk  upstream  along  the  brooklet, evading predators of every
      kind,  until  you  come  to a structure. This structure resembles a
      great  mound  of  the  nasal mucous of your race. It is about fifty
      times  your height. It apparently has a disgusting smell. It is the
      nest  of  one  of the indigenes, a creature in some ways resembling
      the  giant  reptiles  once  common on your world, but in other ways
      resembling  some  of  your  insects. It excretes the stuff of which
      its  nest is built. Despite the semiliquid appearance of this nest,
      it  is  quite  hard.  The  excretion  hardens  upon exposure to the
      atmosphere.  Halfway  up  its  side is an opening. Climb up, if you
      can,  and  enter.  The  portal  through is deep inside, and will be
      reached  by  simply following the passage. The portal was of course
      there  before  the  creature  built its nest, and indeed has always
      been  there.  It was pure chance that led the creature to build its
      nest  at  this  particular  spot.  The creature is unaware that the
      portal  is there. None of the portals can be detected by life-forms
      native  to the area of the portal's location unless such life-forms
      are directed to the portals, as you were when you began this task.

         Inside  the  nest  you will find it difficult to breath. It will
      not  however, be impossible. The atmosphere will be harmful to your
      lungs.  You  must proceed as rapidly as possible, in order to reach
      the  portal  before  your lungs cease to function. Hanging from the
      ceiling  of  the  passage  will be objects that appear to you to be
      thick,  oily  ropes swinging about. Exercise care not to be touched
      by  them.  If  you  are, you will be dissolved. Hurry along. If you
      survive,  it  will be impossible to miss the portal. Get through it
      quickly.
13.
         You  are in Area Four. Do not move. Do not move at all until you
      have read this instruction.

         You are the eighteenth of your kind to reach this area. No other
      life-form  has supplied more than five individuals who have reached
      it. However, your race has greater difficulties with Area Four than
      do the others.  We cannot tell why.

         As  soon as you move, your shape will change. It may change to a
      shape  that lacks the capacity for movement. If that should happen,
      you  will  of  course have to remain here permanently. If, however,
      your  new shape is capable of movement, simply go straight forward,
      advancing  by  whatever  means of locomotion you can contrive under
      the  difficulties  presented by the form you have acquired. Because
      of   the   geometry  of  this  place  constantly  undergoes  random
      variation,  it is impossible to tell the distance to the portal  at
      any  given  moment.  Simply move forward until you reach it. If the
      portal is at this time a very great distance off, you may not reach
      it,  as there is no way for you to obtain nourishment here, and, in
      any  case,  you may be unable to ingest nourishment in your present
      form.  Now you may move.
14.
         You have passed through the portal and you are in Area Five. You
      have  returned  to  your original shape, or something very close to
      it.  The other member of your race who reached this point recovered
      its  original  shape  in almost every particular, with perhaps some
      slight  alteration  of the proportions between various parts of the
      body.  It  retained  to  a considerable degree the power of forward
      movement  and  an  intermittent capacity for coarse manipulation of
      objects.  No  doubt  you  find  yourself  as  well off, and perhaps
      better.

         In  this area the portal is close at hand. You could see it from
      where you now are, if it were not hidden behind that large machine.
      We  do  not  know  how  this  machine  appears to you, because your
      perceptions  do  not  extend  to all the planes in which it has its
      existence.  The  part  that  falls  within the range of your senses
      apparently  is  perceived  by  your race as a terrifying large live
      thing.  That  at any rate is our conclusion based upon the behavior
      of your predecessor.

         The  function of this machine, to describe it in an analogy that
      you  will understand, is to take samples and analyze them. There is
      no  way of knowing what sort of samples it was designed to analyze,
      except  that they were evidently large - probably about the size of
      your  head.  The  entities  who created this machine finished their
      history  and  disappeared  very long ago at a time when your native
      sun  was  still  taking form. The machine continues to operate, but
      perhaps  no  longer  exactly as it was intended to. In any case, it
      will  not  permit  you  access to the portal until it has taken its
      sample.

         You  will  have  noted  that  these  instructions  are  now more
      elaborate  and  explanatory than they were initially. This has been
      because  it appears from our admittedly incomplete knowledge of the
      psychology  of  your  race that you may function better if you have
      some  comprehension  of what you are doing. In the early stages, it
      did not matter, but now you have advanced very far. While of course
      you  have  no  choice  but to obey the instructions, it may be that
      these  explanations  will  inspire  you to an added effort, or even
      enthusiasm.

         If  you  are  able  to pass the machine, you will see the portal
      plainly,  and  you  will  go  through  it.  Now advance and let the
      machine  take  its samples.
 15.
         You  are  in  Area  Six.  You are the first being to achieve it.
      Heretofore  the samples taken by the machine have always been vital
      parts  of  the  life-form furnishing the sample, or even the entire
      being.  Clearly,  there  remains enough of you to continue to live,
      and to have made your way from the machine to the portal. You are a
      durable being, for one of your subdivision.

         Area  Six  is  the final area. There are no difficulties in this
      area.  It  is  a  harmless,  peaceful,  and  -  perhaps, to you - a
      beautiful place. Or perhaps not. We know little of your aesthetics.
      There are many large plants here, much resembling the trees of your
      native  world.  A  small  road or path winds among them. Follow the
      path.  Along the way are streams of water from which you may drink;
      there  are also fruits and nuts that are safe to eat for life-forms
      of your subdivision.

         Advancing  along the path from the opposite direction is another
      life-form.  It  will resemble nothing you have see or imagined, but
      it  is, like you, carbon-based, and, like you, has been following a
      set  of  instructions,  which  were much more difficult than yours.
      When  you  confront this being, reach out with any part of you that
      remains  capable  of reaching, and touch it. It is instructed to do
      the same to you.

         The   instructions   following   this  one  will  be  the  final
      instructions. You may read it after you have physically touched the
      other  creature. Proceed.

 16.
         The fact that you are reading this means that you have completed
      the undertaking.

         Your  race is one of those with the characteristic of curiosity,
      and  you  will  want  to know our reasons for requiring you to make
      this journey. We will tell you.

      You  have  on  your  native  planet an intellectual diversion quite
      suitable  for  your  minds,  called chess. We are now playing, with
      another  entity much like ourself, a game with distant analogies to
      the  game  of  chess  raised  several powers in complexity. Nothing
      about  this  game  would  be  in  any way comprehensible to you, of
      course, and we will make no attempt to explain it. Instead, we will
      continue  the  chess  analogy  and  tell  you that while there have
      already been hundreds of millions of moves in this game, it remains
      very  far  from over. Millions of our chessman are in motion upon a
      board  that  encompasses  all  of the past time and any point in or
      portion  of  the universe that may become useful. You and the being
      you  have just encountered comprise jointly a minute part of one of
      our  chess  pieces.  The passage through the portals on the part of
      each  of  you,  and your final coming together, form part of a tiny
      link  in a predicted chain of cause and effect that will, in a very
      distant  future  time,  lead  to a curious mutation in a race whose
      first ancestor has not yet come into being.

         Unless,  of  course,  the move by our oppenent that follows this
      one  nullifies  ours.  We  will, in that event, make an appropriate
      response.  You  will understand that all the pieces are being moved
      all the time. The analogy with chess is in fact quite loose.

         At  some  point - it will be at a time that would seem to you to
      be  unthinkably  remote -  the  game  will  be over. The loser will
      congratulate  the winner. We and it will then invent and agree upon
      the rules of a new game, and it will commence.

         That is what we do. You, with your curiosity, may ask: Why?

         The answer is: To pass the time, to alleviate boredom.

      Your  curiosity is now satisfied, and we are finished with you. You
      are now free from the restraints imposed by these instructions, and
      may  do  as you like. If you wish to try to return to your starting
      place,  you  will find all the portals exactly where they were when
      you  were coming here. They are open both ways. The difficulties in
      each area remain unchanged, but you are quite durable. You might be
      back.


			       HAVE A NICE DAY


           From Fantasy & Science Fiction, September 1984, pgs 79-86.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
120.1EVE::B_TODDFri Aug 17 1984 03:243
Seems roughly equivalent to the cross-product of ROGUE MOON and THE GAME OF
BLOOD AND DUST.
			- Bill
120.2VIKING::MCCARTHYFri Aug 17 1984 08:456
     No, I saw this in my latest issue of Fantasy and Science Fiction.  I
loved it, and hope to see more by Bob Leman in the future.  BTW, an aside
to XENON::GAUDREQU;  I always thought you needed author's permission to
reproduce something like this.

     Kevin McC.
120.3XENON::GAUDREAUFri Aug 17 1984 08:577
RE:.2, You probably do need permission.  I didn't think anyone would complain
too much as there is a limited readership.  The 'humor' implied in the story
is just right for programmers who tell the computer what to do.  The entities
behind the story are just programming things a little.  Hope it is enjoyed...

 Joe
 -=-
120.4EARTH::MJOHNSONFri Aug 17 1984 17:473
Re:.3

Yep, I enjoyed it.   Thanks
120.5ERIE::ASANKARFri Aug 17 1984 18:204
		Me three!

			sam
120.6ADVISE::THOMPSONTue Aug 21 1984 14:284
That was great. I may have to dig up the money for a
subscription to F&SF again.

Alfred
120.7ERIE::ASANKARThu Aug 23 1984 18:285

		By the way, how much is that?

				sam
120.8AKOV68::BOYAJIANThu Aug 23 1984 22:417
An annual subscription (12 issues) to F&SF costs $17.50. The address is:

FNATSY
(oops! thought I was EDT)

FANTASY & SCIENCE FICTION, Box 56, Cornwall, CT  06753

--- jerry
120.9ERIE::ASANKARFri Aug 24 1984 20:264
		Thanks a bunch...
	
				sam
120.10WARLRD::JELICHWed Sep 19 1984 11:513
That was good.  Almost makes you feel small and insignificant.   :-)

Beth
120.11Those who follow instructions get lostPARITY::WUFri Aug 11 1989 08:504
    And I thought I was getting info on what a form feed was.  Is it a
    carriage return <RET>?
    
    Chris
120.12Follow _these_ instructionsPOLAR::LACAILLEThere&#039;s a madness to my methodFri Aug 11 1989 09:3718
    
    	A form feed, when encountered by a printer, advances the form
    to the top of the next page regardless of where it is detected.
    Sorta like a 'go to home' command.
    
    	When used within notes, it acts differently. The note processor
    stops the scrolling of the text on the screen when it encounters
    a form feed character and prompts you to '<CR> to continue'.
    
    	The FF can be added by the noter to 'hide' text that may not
    want to be read by accident (the ending of a book for example would
    have a <spoiler> warning and then a FF). This Form Feed character
    can be added in the TPU editor by a ^V (add character command) and
    a ^L (the actual <FF> character).
    
    	BTW ^ mean control.
    
    Charlie