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Conference noted::equitation

Title:Equine Notes Conference
Notice:Topics List=4, Horses 4Sale/Wanted=150, Equip 4Sale/Wanted=151
Moderator:MTADMS::COBURNIO
Created:Tue Feb 11 1986
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:2080
Total number of notes:22383

1596.0. "Recovering from Injuries-How to Deal with Fear" by AIMHI::DANIELS () Mon Feb 17 1992 10:17

    I have a "problem" that I could use some advice on.
    
    A number of years ago I was badly hurt in a kicking accident - and by
    doing all the proper safety things - which was probably why I wasn't
    killed.  This horse that did this to me was at a place I worked, not my
    own horse.  However, I found that even with my own horse, who never
    kicked, that I would be scared to brush his tail, etc.
    
    Since my old horse died this past fall, I've been riding at a stable
    near me.  As is typical of school horses, some are real pleasant
    animals and some have their little habits which aren't so pleasant.
    
    My problem is that I find I'm timid with working with the horses on the
    ground.  I don't have a problem when riding, however, I'm not riding
    bucking broncos either.  I'm not afraid when I'm on the horse, it's
    handling them on the ground.  There is one horse at the stable which is
    a known kicker, and whenever I saddle him, I have a stable boy or my
    riding instructor hold his head so they can keep an eye on him, and
    read his intentions (this horse is highly trained in dressage and is a
    good jumper, which is why they put up with him).  But I think I'm
    getting the reputation for being a "sissy."  But I'm not just the type
    that can go into a stall and slam a horse around, etc.  I did ask my
    instructor (who is very pleasant and really tries to understand) if she
    had ever been hurt by a horse, and she said no, never, and she said
    that she would probably feel quite different if she had.
    
    I feel good that I'm back to riding, because after two operations, it
    was hard for me to even get back on a horse.  Now I can do a hunt
    course, do some dressage, and they give me the more advanced horses to
    ride.  It's just working with them on the ground that bothers me still.
    
    Has anyone ever been through this, and if so, what did you do to cure
    it?
    
    Tina
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1596.1Time is the answer..you have the right to be uncomBOOVX1::MANDILEAlways carry a rainbow in your pocketMon Feb 17 1992 11:0723
    Tina-
    
    Can I be a nosy busybody and ask what happened to you?
    (tell only if you want to, tho')
    
    I was bucked off and injured (not too badly....it took
    3 weeks for me to heal, but months before my confidence
    came back....) about 5 years ago.  I only had been riding
    for about a year, and the horse was my first, and young.
    I was paranoid to get back on, and didn't ride him for
    quite a while.  The stable let me use one of the experienced
    schooling horses (she was actually a large pony, and close
    to 25 yrs old) just to hack around.......one of the trainers
    rode my horse for me, too.  I finally got enough confidence
    to get back on my horse.  It took my husband to stand by his
    head and holding him, in the riding ring, I was shaking like
    a leaf, but I got on.  That was the worst part.  I had been
    bucked off while getting into the saddle.  It was a while before
    I trusted him not to buck again, but he never has....it was just
    on of those things....
    
    Lynne   
    
1596.2How I got hurtAIMHI::DANIELSMon Feb 17 1992 11:2413
    I was trying to feed this horse in a straight stall, and he tried to
    trample me.  I was able to keep him pushed over (amazing what strength
    you can have), and keep away from his huge biting teeth, but he got me
    down in the stall, and as I was crawling away from him, he nailed me
    right in the kneecap and it shattered of course.  I've had two
    operations on it since, over the last 10 years, and each time it has
    been major bone surgery since my kneecap and upper and lower leg bones
    (how's that for technical talk) suffered damage.
    
    Physcologically this is interesting - you were scared because you got
    hurt on a horse (well almost on), and even though I've fallen a lot and
    been bucked off, I've never been hurt that way, so my fear doesn't lie
    there.
1596.3CSLALL::LCOBURNIm the leader,which way did they go?Mon Feb 17 1992 11:4511
    I think you have a lot of courage to keep trying like you have! I'm
    sure your's is a perfectly normal reaction to a frightening situation,
    and that by allowing yourself to take it slow and work with trustworthy
    horses you'll eventually work your fears out for yourself with time.
    I've never had a fear-causing accident with a horse, my mare fell on
    top of me once a few years ago and tore the ligaments in my knee, but
    it was pure accident, she simply tripped and stumbled onto her left
    side pinning me underneath her. But it was far from intentional on her
    part, as it sounds as if your accident was. I'm sure if it had been
    I'd feel the same way. I admire your guts! Good luck!
    
1596.4I'm glad you didn't give up on horses after this!CARTUN::MISTOVICHMon Feb 17 1992 12:1818
    Time, patience, love and forgiveness heals all.  Ignore other's comments 
    or putdowns (easier said than done, I know...) -- they haven't been 
    through your experience so they don't know.  Forgive the horse that hurt 
    you -- he didn't know any better, or maybe you misunderstood his behavior 
    (sounds like he could have been lunging at the food, not you).
    
    Take things slowly and in your own time.  And as safely as possible, 
    while you re-build your trust in horses and, more importantly, in your 
    own ability to handle any situation that comes up.  If that means
    having a 2nd person there to help you handle a horse on the ground,
    find someone knowledgable and supportive (such as your instructor).
    
    You have the rest of your life to work it out, if that's how long it
    takes.  But you'll find the best way to facilitate the healing is to
    give yourself permission to be afraid and to have help.  Even if it
    takes the rest of your life (don't worry, it won't)!
                                                        
    Mary
1596.5You are showing TRUE courage!DECWET::JDADDAMIOMontar con orgullo!Mon Feb 17 1992 13:2320
    Tina,
    
    I think you're half way there because you admit your fear and 
    want to get over it! Perhaps, the BEST thing you could do would be to 
    seek the advice of a psychological counselor. Tell her/him what your fear 
    is and ask them to teach you ways to deal with it.
    
    While we in this conference are horsepeople and have to deal with our
    own individual fears, we aren't experts in psychology.
    
    Remeber two things:
    True courage is doing what you have to do in spite of fear. 
    Fear is entirely appropriate when you are in danger.
    
    Like they say in John Wayne movies, only fools and liars will tell you 
    they are never afraid.
    
    
    Good luck,
    John
1596.6fear is okPFSVAX::SANESTISCritter kidsMon Feb 17 1992 16:4610
    I have fear the other way, I struggle to relax mounted. I can do
    anything on the ground. Being tense in the saddle makes my horse more
    tense too. I work with an understanding instructor that will not
    hesitate to use a lunge line on my bad days, and I do not ride my young
    horse unless I am having a good day and he has been lunged first. It
    can take years. You may want to find a nice pony to work on the ground,
    maybe leading little kids around to build confidence and learn to read
    the horse better without have to see his face.
    Sandy
    
1596.7be patient with yourself, you deserve itSMAUG::MORENZJoAnne Morenz IBM I /C Eng. 226-5870Mon Feb 17 1992 17:1317
Hi Tina,

You are not a sissy, and not a psycho. You will have to be patient with yourself
and give yourself time to regain confidence on the ground. Treat yourself the
way you'd treat a horse that had experienced something truly traumatic
(physically and psychologically). 

It sounds as though you are doing exactly the right thing. The fact that you
haven't given up riding is a testament to your bravery. Take it slow and
give yourself time. 

	Anyone that would give you a hard time about your tentativeness
	is a fool.

	- JoAnne

1596.8exDECWET::JDADDAMIOMontar con orgullo!Mon Feb 17 1992 18:3436
    
    Hi Tina,
    
    Just in case you or anybody else might have misunderstood my earlier
    suggestion about counselling, I was not referring to a "shrink";
    especially not the Freudian analysis type that tell you you're whacko 
    because you were in love with your parent or something.
    
    There are all kinds of pschological counsellors these days. Some
    specialize in sports psychology. They teach people techniques to improve
    their mental attitude towards competition(so they don't choke), etc...
    
    What I meant was something more along those lines. Somebody who could
    make positive suggestions about strategies you might use to combat the
    fear, etc. Like this fellow I met a couple years ago. He asked me
    if I knew where he could buy a large pony or small horse. He went on to
    explain that he was afraid of horses from an accident of some kind. He'd 
    gone to a counsellor and they worked out this scheme for him to get over 
    his fear. He started out working w/ small ponies, then a medium one and
    when I met him he was ready to face a 14.1-14.3h size equine. It was
    just the next step in his recovery plan.
    
    All I was trying to say was that a psychologist, with better knowledge of 
    how the human mind works than we noters have, might give you better
    advice on ways to work through the fear.
    
    If you have the time, money and inclination, you might enroll in a week
    long Linda Tellington-Jones workshop. She's very good with fearful
    horses and I've seen her give confidence to timid people too. 
    
    Like I said before, I think your showing real courage right now. And, I
    agree with what everybody else has said...Anybody who thinks you're a
    sissy is a real jerk!
    
    Hang in there
    John
1596.9ThanksAIMHI::DANIELSTue Feb 18 1992 10:489
    I've heard of Linda Tellington-Jones, but I don't know much about her. 
    I can't take a week this year for it (simply not enough vacation time,
    after the obligatories with the in-laws), but does she have any videos,
    and if so, is there a place that rents through the mail?
    
    Tina
    
    P.S.  Thanks for all the responses, it's good to know that other people
    have fears around horses at times too.  
1596.10BOOVX2::MANDILEAlways carry a rainbow in your pocketTue Feb 18 1992 12:5119
    Re .2 -
    
    
    
    I hate those standing stalls.....thanx for telling me your
    story...
    
    Yep....I put my foot in the stirrup, and was halfway up
    into the saddle when he started bucking.  I literally went
    up one side, over his back and landed head and shoulder first
    on the other side!  I was totally unprepared for it!  THUD!!!!
    (thank goodness I was wearing a helmet!)  He has never done
    it since.....best guess was that the girth pinched him when
    my weight hit it....He was a 3 yr old when it happened....
    Putting my foot back in the stirrup to ride him again was one
    of the hardest things I had ever done.....I was shaking, I was
    so nervous.  It took a long time before I trusted him again.
    
    L-  
1596.11overcoming anxietyCSOA1::HUNT_LTue Feb 18 1992 16:5619
    Tina,
    
    It wouldn't be a bad idea to see a professional to help you overcome
    your genuine fear.
    
    I had some pretty good falls off of my old horse which made me
    extremely nervous about riding and especially jumping fences. I even
    sold my old horse, bought a new one and thought that my anxiety would
    end but it didn't. So after a little bit of research I went to a
    cognitive therepist for a couple of sessions. These are the people that
    help people who are afraid to get on airplane, afraid to go to the
    dentist etc.  This guy helped. Now I don't do all the things that I
    used to do, but I'm on the way back. Unfortunately overcoming anxiety
    is painfully slow.
    
    You know I found out about this type of therepy by using the EAP
    proram. It may work for you too.
                                                                              
    
1596.12More on LTJ videos & rentalsDECWET::JDADDAMIOMontar con orgullo!Wed Feb 19 1992 14:0030
    Recommended LTJ video tapes for increasing your confidence around
    horses while dismounted, improving your horse's manners, ease of
    handling and trust in you are:
    
    TTouch for head and Neck
    TTouch for body, tail and legs
    Groundwork Learning exercises Part I
    Groundwork Learning exercises Part II
    
    Those are all titles from her 8 tape series. Each of the 8 tapes is an
    hour to an hour and 15 minutes in length. The remaining tapes in the
    series are:
    
    Handling Mares and Stallions
    Riding with awareness
    Educating your foal
    Haltering your foal without trauma
    
    LTJ has two other tapes entitled "Starting a Young Horse" (90 Minutes)
    and "Teaching the Touch"(2 hours). "Teaching the Touch" covers
    basically the same material as two tapes from the series (TTouch for Head 
    and Neck & TTouch for Body, Tail, Legs) so it's a reasonable substitute
    for those if you can't find them.
    
    If there's a tack shop near you that rents videos, they may well have
    some of them. Tack shops around here charge $5 to $7 for 2 nights. If 
    no nearby takc shop rents them, you can rent them from EQUIVID in CA at a 
    rate of about $15 for about 2 weeks. See the video note in this 
    conference(Note 909.6 has their rental policy and 909.8 has their current 
    phone number)
1596.13ABACUS::MATTHEWSDEAth StarWed Feb 19 1992 14:269
    r4. ltj tapes....
    
    
    what tack shops rent them???
    aroudn mass/nh?
    
    
    		wendy o'
    
1596.14Common practice in WADECWET::JDADDAMIOMontar con orgullo!Wed Feb 19 1992 15:324
    Don't know about Mass/NH(I'm in WA), but there are 2 tack shops within
    a 10 min drive of my site that rent tapes. Both of them carry some LTJ
    tapes. There are 4 tack shops in the town where I live and I think 2 of
    them and 1 of the feed stores rents tapes. Fairly common out here
1596.15video rentalsMASADA::FORDWed Feb 26 1992 17:244
I'm real interested in the videos mentioned.  I am in North Central Mass.  I 
also do some investigation and let this note know what I find out.

Darlene
1596.16Mine hill tack has tapes.CSCMA::SMITHThu Feb 27 1992 13:052
    Mine hill tack in Templeton, MA has a few tapes for rent. You might
    call them (508) 939-8489.
1596.17WAFER::CORMIERThu Mar 05 1992 14:4226

  Hi Tina-

  I'm glad your accident didn't turn you off from the horse world!  From the 
  way you described your accident, it doesn't sound like there was anything you
  could possibly have done to prevent it (except not have shown up at the barn
  that day :^)).  

  However, since you've decided to continue working around horses, there is one
  rule of thumb I always follow when working around the backend of any horse ie:
  brushing tails, or picking out feet -> 

   Keep your body close to the horse.  I know it sounds strange, but if you 
   stand a few feet away from the horse and he decide to kick you, you are 
   going to receive the full force of the blow.  If you always stand right
   beside them (practically touching the horse) the force of the kick will not
   be very great.  You may be in danger of getting your toes stepped on, but I'd
   rather get my toes smooshed than have my leg or other precious bones smashed
   to pieces.  

   I'd also avoid the horses you know are prone to kicking.  Kicking is a
   dangerous habit (as you well know) and no one should have to put up with it
   - no matter how great the horse performs.