Conference noted::equitation

    Michelle,
    
    I know how you feel, I've been in this type of dilemma before. 
    You mentioned all negative things about having a horse in your
    note, so before you make any drastic moves, you may want to look
    at some of the positives, the reasons you got the horse in the
    first place.  Are you keeping him at your house, and if not, how
    often do you see him or work with him?  I wouldn't really worry
    too much about his stifles as there are a lot more serious problems
    you could have, and compared to those stifles are mild.  Is this
    your first horse, and if you did get rid of him would you plan on
    getting another?  It sounds as if Cocoa is lucky to have someone
    who is trying to make him forget the past, but with horses that
    is an extremely hard thing to do.  I have one like that who was
    beaten up at the track, now he doesn't trust any men, even the
    blacksmith can't catch him in his stall.  I don't see myself ever
    getting rid of him because he trusts me so much, and I couldn't
    stand to think of what someone who doesn't understand him would
    do to him.  I know the expenses get discouraging at this time of
    year especially, but make sure you weigh both sides of things before
    you do anything.  Good luck and let us know!

    Michele,
    
    Here's my 2 cents. I this day and age very few people NEED a horse.
    Therefore we must assume Cocoa is a pet. It is my belief that when
    you take on a pet it is like taking on a husband "for better or
    worse". The fact that Cocoa is going thru a bad time does not make
    him a bad horse. He is not a danger to anyone. He could become totally
    sound again. Considering him as a pet dog or cat you would not put
    down a pet that is not dangerous and can have quality of life. Selling
    a horse with known problems to the general public quite often is
    writing him a ticket to the meat packers. I feel you owe it to Cocoa
    to give hive a chance to get better unless the vet bills are
    threatening his meal ticket. Cocoa has been a friend to you now
    it is your turn.
    
    Sandy
    

Hi Michele:

I wondered what happened after your last trip to the vet.  I 
was going to send you a note, but was afraid that when you 
didn't report back, it was real bad news.

Remember, I told you that Ki came back 100% after his stifle 
problems (he's had a lot worse since then) and that there 
was hope.

I'm going to put my two cents in on keeping a horse that's
causing you problems.  Many of my friends (and me) own
horses that can no longer do what we'd like them to.  The
horses are older (20 is average) and have various problems.
However, most of us aren't too young either, and we're not
100% sound all of the time.  We've also all been riding a
long time and have had the chance to do what we hoped for
(maybe we all dreamed of being Olympic riders, but reality
does set in!!) with those same horses.  If I remember
correctly, you haven't owned Coco that long and he's your
first horse.  I realize that you'd love to be able to own
him forever as a pet, but there is a big difference between
horses and dogs -- finance being the biggie.  If you can
only afford one horse, and you haven't been able to do any
of what you wanted to with him, maybe you should sell him. 
You don't even have to sell him - you can give him away (4H,
schools, right here in the notes file).  My friends all 
laugh when they hear me give this advice, cause like I said, 
I wouldn't part with Ki for a million dollars (and that 
isn't an exaggeration).  However, he's been my best friend 
for 9 years and we've done a lot of great stuff together, 
and if all he can do now is real limited things, ok, so 
that's what we'll do. However, I also board at a teaching 
facility which gives me the opportunity to ride/show other 
horses so I can still do what I want, but not with Ki.

What I'm really saying is, it's okay to part with a horse 
once you bought him -- but honestly, advice isn't going to 
be what helps you make up your mind.  However, once you make 
it up (either way) don't regret it.  Just go forward and 
have fun, because that's the key to this whole sport.

Good luck Michele, it'll be a real tough decision either 
way!

Dawn

    
    
    As someone who paid $3000.00 to nurse my stallion through colic
    surgery with a 50% survival rate, it makes sense that I agree with
    reply .2.  Money wasn't really a consideration.  Having my
    horse pull through was.  This was a major operation and I won't
    mention how many of my other horses have rung up vet bills with
    cuts, bone bruises, colic, etc. etc.  I would have never thought
    of giving them up because of money.  I always find a way.
    
    I guess if you truly have "horse fever", there isn't much else
    that you would perfer to spend your money on.  However, if you
    don't feel this way and have decided that you don't want this
    particular horse or you don't want a horse at all, then perhaps
    that's a different story.  There are options.  If you really
    don't want to give the horse up, try a partial lease with
    someone else to help with expenses and care.  If you want to
    lease with option to buy, I wouldn't worry about the horse
    going for meat because they wouldn't make any money after
    caring for him during the lease.
    
    If you do decide to sell the horse, put a pricetag that a
    meatbuyer wouldn't consider.  That's what the majority of
    people do to protect the horses from going to slaughter house.
    If you only want a couple hundred, put a thousand.  If you
    get someone that looks good and sincere, then tell them you
    only want X amount of dollars.
    
    Goodluck.
    
    
    

    There is no guarantee that any horse you lease/sell/give away won't
    end up where you wish it not to.  However, one way of trying to
    prevent this is with a contract stating that you will take the horse
    back if and when the new owners no longer have a use for the animal.
    I realize that this is not always an option as space and money are
    big considerations but it is food for thought.
    
    I know in the past we have kept horses and still do that to some
    people it would seem a waste but that is how I feel about it and
    fortunately I have been in a position to do it.
    
    My thoughts are with you on making such a decision....it is a very
    difficult thing to do.
     

    Thanks for your replies, I think I make up my mind, then I see his
    adorable face, and change it again.  Cocoa trust me, and no one
    else, although a few of our friends find this hard to accept- but
    I won't go into it.  I am boarding him out, and the vet I am seeing
    is not too expensive(I can alway rationalize this).  I have had
    several offers to ride other horses, in  fact my favorite old man
    is coming back - I can't wait to hop on him for a ride :^)
    
    I had wanted to get involved in showing, I don't think I'd be able
    to do that with him.  I rode a handsome Paint last weekend, who
    was trained to do everything from western pleasure to beginning
    dressage.  The price was pretty good $1000, but I can't justify
    or afford 2 horses boarding (I have student loans to think of)out,
    we just placed our Paso Fino in a good home because we got Jesse
    (Black & White REG.Paint).
    
    I want to keep him, I am very attached, I guess I am bummed he
    isn't 100%, and I guess I am impaitent too, I want to ride
    him..... I am going to ride this weekend, depending how he
    does might change my decision......who knows....I really can't make
    up my mind.....

    If your bummed, just think how he must feel. I bet he'd feel worse
    if had to deal with new people on top of his health problem.
    

    
    Hi Michele,
    
    It is unfortunate that you and Cocoa are having problems.  We all have
    them.  It sounds like to me that your problems are something that you
    can work out in time.  We all have our faults.  Horses are no
    exception.  In all the years I have been around horses I have never
    found a "perfect" horse.  Of course there are some that are better
    than others - physically or mentally.  The problems you describe
    are not that severe.  It sounds like Cocoa will have good days and
    bad - as long as the good days out weigh the bad then you are doing
    okay.  As far as your relationship with him - give it time.  I had
    my present horse for almost a year before I could honestly say I 
    was attached to him as a pet.  He was very independent and big.
    Now two years later I can say that I love him and enjoy him.  
    Knock on wood - he has not had any soundness problems (he is only 
    5 yrs old) but he defintely has some mental problems.  Both can be 
    very frustrating. Learn what you can from Cocoa and any other horses 
    you have the opportunity to ride.  They have alot to teach you.  
    When you get to the point where you are ready to show, then you may 
    have to move on to something more suitable to your needs.  
    
    Good luck, keep us posted.
    
    
                                        Wendy

    I think that you owe any animal in your care, the best care possible.
    And that you put as much effort in as is required to see that the
    animal is health and happy. However I do believe that owning any
    animal is a hobby, and that hobbies ought to be fun. It is those
    thing that we do outside of work that make our lives complete. At
    any point the hobby becomes just more work it's time to make a change.
    If owning this horse is still fun and enjoyable then keep him, if
    however it's just more work than I think it's time to sell him.
    If he's just a chore you'll know it and he'll know it; and it won't
    be good for either of you.
                       Good Luck 
                      Paul buntrock       

    About 3 1/2 years ago I bought my first horse, Jasper. About 1 month
    later, he had a massive injury to his right hind leg which caused one
    of the muscles to be partial severed. In fact, now when he walks his
    rear leg drops inward. When his leg is about 7 inches from the ground,
    it starts to go inward and then he literally drops its (I guess the 
    muscle that controls lowering the leg was affected by the injury).
    
    Anyway, here I was, after just buying my horse having to pay vet bills
    and then unable to ride my horse for 2 1/2 months and then having to
    slowly bring him up to speed. It was not my favorite time of that year!
    
    I was lucky in that the vet bills were not very high (about $250), but
    Jasper does have a permanent problem with his leg. I can do everything
    I had planned on doing (trail riding, jumping, some dressage work).
    However, if I took him to anything but a schooling show, I'm sure his
    leg would be one factor that would bring us down.
    
    It's difficult to say what I would have done had I not been able to
    continue riding Jasper or if I had planned on doing extensive showing.
    My number 1 reason for buying him was to have a horse to ride not a
    pet. Of course, he is now my pet, "baby", and I'll probably have him
    until he goes to the great horse heaven but I really do think had I not
    been able to ride him after the accident, I would have had to do
    something (give him away....).
    
    It really depends upon whether you have another horse to ride ( I of
    course didn't), and what Cocoa's limitations are due to the stifles
    (are there any??).
    
    Good Luck and I can imagine what you're going through (a friend of mine
    finally sold her horse and bought another one due to not being able to
    trust her 1st horse - long story).
    
    			Cindy
    

    I decided to keep him. and try to work with the problems, I am the
    only one he trusts now, and I do think it would bum him out too,
    if he all of a sudden got a new home.  I have a lot to learn still,
    and he is a great horse in groups, alone, trailering, in the field...
    I could go on and on, but we will have to work on the trust factor
    more.  Since we wont be doing much riding now, I'll have a lot of
    time to work with him
    
    Thanks for all your opinions, they helped me deal with this frustrating
    situation, and helped me realize that many people have to go thru
    stuff like this...but its worth it!
    
    Michele
    
    p.s.
    
    I took Cocoa to the vet (along with another horse and my cat- what
    an interesting trip) and he said that Cocoa is on his way to a good
    recovery!
    

    It's been a couple of years since anyone added to this note; How's
    cocoa doing now? Does he trust anyone else? Has he gotten better or 
    has he become to much to handle? 
    					Let us know,
    						Don