[Search for users] [Overall Top Noters] [List of all Conferences] [Download this site]

Conference 7.286::home_work

Title:	Home_work
Notice:	Check Directory (6.3) before writing a new note
Moderator:	CSLALL::NASEAM::READIO

Created:	Tue Nov 05 1991
Last Modified:	Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	2100
Total number of notes:	78741

271.0. "It doesn't pay to try to do the job alone" by JAC::COFFLER (Jeff Coffler) Wed Jun 29 1988 11:25

    The following is a letter that I typed in from an insured party
    to an insurance company.  As far as I can tell, the letter is genuine
    (an insurance reporting form was also filled out, but I didn't make
    a copy of that).
    
    It's amusing reading, but it also has a moral that we should all
    be careful of when we work on our homes ... the story follows the
    form feed.
    
    	-- Jeff
    
    Dear Sir:

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information. 
    In block number three on the accident reporting form I put, "trying to
    do the job alone" as the cause of my accident.  You said in your letter
    that I should explain more fully and I trust the following details will
    be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer by trade.  On the day of the accident I was working
    alone on the roof of a new six-story building.  When I completed my
    work I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. 
    Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a
    barrel by using the pulley -- you've seen that in new buildings --
    which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth
    floor.

    Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
    barrel out, and loaded the brick into it.  Then I went back to the
    ground level and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow
    decent of the five hundred pounds of brick.  You will note in block 11
    of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.

    Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost
    my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.  Needless to say,
    I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel coming down.  This
    explains the fractured scull and broken collarbone.

    Slowed only slightly I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
    the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. 
    Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
    able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

    At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the
    ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.  Devoid of the weight of
    the bricks, the barrel now weighted approximately 50 pounds.  I refer
    you again to my weight in block 11.  As you might imagine I began a
    rapid descent down the side of the building.  In the vicinity of the
    third floor I met the barrel coming up.  This accounts for the two
    fractured ankles and lacerations of my legs and lower body.

    The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries
    when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three
    vertebrae were cracked.

    I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks -- in
    pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above
    me -- I again lost my presence of mind and I let go of the rope.

    Moral of this tale.  It doesn't pay to try to do the job alone.

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
271.1		ULTRA::PRIBORSKY	Swamps professionally drained.	`Wed Jun 29 1988 11:34`	2
	Sounds like Dave Barry material. It's amazing what stupid things you can do when you're in a hurry. I hope the guy's OK.
271.2		VIDEO::FINGERHUT		`Wed Jun 29 1988 11:37`	5
	It's not Dave Barry, but the same type of thing. It was written about 5 years ago. (How many insurance forms have you seen that ask for your weight?)
271.3	No, Wile Y. Coyote	FREDW::MATTHES		`Wed Jun 29 1988 11:40`	3
	Sounds more like Wiley Coyote than Dave Barry. Didn't I see the trademark 'ACME' on the pulley?
271.4		DCC::JAERVINEN	May all your loops be infinite.	`Wed Jun 29 1988 11:56`	3
	I've heard the same story in a version of a radio ham working on his antenna tower at least 20 years ago...
271.5	Good story, though!	LYCEUM::CURTIS	Dick "Aristotle" Curtis	`Wed Jun 29 1988 12:23`	6
	Uh, guys, I think it's the Clancy Brothers who recorded a song that very closely follows what happened in .0... and it was probably a decade ago that they did it... Dick
271.6		TOPDOC::AHERN	Bell the cat in '88	`Wed Jun 29 1988 14:39`	9
	RE: .5 "Clancys lowering the boom" I think the title of the song was something like "Why Paddy's not coming to work today". The line I remember is something like: "...and when I was only halfway up, I met the bloody barrel coming down."
271.7	Paddy's Note	STAR::BECK	Paul Beck \| DECnet-VAX	`Wed Jun 29 1988 18:44`	52
	RE ... Yup, that story is VERY old, and has been around in a large number of variations. I learned the Irish version from Joe Hickerson (he runs the Folksong Archive at the Library of Congress), who learned it in a pub in Ireland. I've heard a Down East version performed by the late Marshall Dodge. Versions have appeared in high school science textbooks (or so I'm told). Here's the Irish version, which I believe to be in the Public Domain: PADDY'S NOTE Kind friends I write this note to you to tell you of me plight And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray And so I write to say why Paddy's not at work today While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear To throw them down from such a height was not a good idear The foreman wasn't very bright, he being an awkward sod He said I'd have to cart them down the ladder in me hod To carry all them bricks by hand it was so very slow So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below But in me haste to do the job I was too blind to see That a barrel filled with building blocks was heavier than me So when I did untie the rope the barrel fell like lead And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead I shot up like a rocket and to my dismay I found That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down The barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped And at the top I met the bloody pulley with me head I clung on tight though numbed with shock from this almighty blow When the barrel spilled out half the bricks some fourteen floors below Now when the bricks had spilled out from the barrel to the floor I then outweighed the barrel and I started down once more I clung on tightly to the rope as I sped towards the ground And landed on the broken bricks there, lying all around I lay there moaning on the ground and thought I'd passed the worst When the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst A shower of bricks rained down on me, 'twas then I gave up hope And, lying there upon the ground, let go the bloody rope The barrel then was heavier and started down once more And landed right across me as I lay there on the floor It broke three ribs and my right arm and so I'm here to say That I hope you understand why Paddy's not at work today
271.8		STAR::BECK	Paul Beck \| DECnet-VAX	`Wed Jun 29 1988 18:48`	3
	p.s. I learned the version in .7 at least 12 years ago. My suspicion is that the song originates in the music hall tradition, and probably dates to the teens or twenties (or possibly earlier).
271.9	Oldest reference?	ULTRA::PRIBORSKY	Swamps professionally drained.	`Fri Jul 08 1988 10:28`	4
	I was loaned a tape of an album by a British chap named Gerard Hoffnung, "Hoffnung at the Oxford Union". This story is at the end of the routine. The tape was made on Dec 4, 1958 from a Decca album. I don't know when the album was made.
271.10	Sang by Seamus Kennedy on his latest album.	VICKI::BROOKS	I'll see you one day in Fiddlers Green	`Wed Jul 13 1988 11:23`	6
	Seamus Kennedy sings this very song on his latest album. This is a very funny song but Seamus has one that's even funnier. It's called mom's lullaby. This song should be a standard part of every parents audio collection. It's hysterical. I guess I'm diverging from the spirit of this notes file.. Sorry.